Categories: Uncategorized

The best "Matrix: Reloaded" review ever

A LiveJourno named hipstomp has a pretty funny review of The Matrix: Reloaded, which includes this observation about Morpheus:

Morpheus got fat. Holy hell did he put some poundage on. I’m thinking Morpheus ate the red pill, and it was so good he decided to wash it down with another 5,000. Either that or they opened a Burger King in Zion right by his place.

Word up Morpheus needs to get off the Nebuchadnezzer and onto a fucking stairmaster. That scene where he’s fighting the Twins, I kept expecting jelly donuts to fall out of his pockets. Like every time he hits the ground there’s a squishhh noise and all this jelly squirts out. Getting punched with powdered sugar on his face. By the end of the movie I thought he was going to eat one of the Sentinels.

Fishburne ain’t gonna like this, and he’s been getting pretty huffy with Matrix critics already.

He took the Fat Pill. “I believe…that tonight…I can devour…a Fat Kreme. Isn’t that…worth driving to the mall for? Isn’t that…worth skipping the gym for?”

[Thanks to Tyler “praytothemachine” Weir for the pointer.]

Joey deVilla

Recent Posts

She also lost “Accordion-ageddon”

And in case you need the rules for “Whamageddon...”

19 hours ago

Here are your three chords. Now GO!

Here’s your motivation for the day: All you need are three chords and the truth…

3 days ago

Sunday picdump for Sunday, November 30

It’s Sunday, and it’s time for another “picdump!” Here are the memes, pictures, and cartoons…

6 days ago

I’ll admit it: *I* am that guy:

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/qxIANXknGvo I even predicted the final line of the skit!

7 days ago

Someone had an eventful Thanksgiving…

This car was ditched in both senses of the word, and was still there (near…

1 week ago

Happy Thanksgiving / Journey to Mordor!

Whether you’re celebrating U.S. Thanksgiving or trudging towards Mordor to dispose of a very dangerous…

1 week ago