America, as your friend, I feel we need to talk…

I love you, really, I do. I’m even the direct descendent of an American from Dayton, Ohio (actually, he was from Eaton, Ohio, which is just outside Dayton). You know, the home of Vicky von Vicky jeans in that one episode of WKRP.

You get lots of things right. Rock and Roll. The Internet. Diet Coke. The Constitution. Sara Lee chocolate-covered cheesecake bites. Women’s sufferage. Plentiful air conditioning. The civil rights movement. Lots of ice cubes in drinks. New York City. The Daily Show. Inspiring the lyrics to AC/DC’s greatest rock anthem. Occasionally doing the Philippines a favour (getting rid of the Japanese occupation, making the Philippines the Asian hub for FedEx). Allowing me to live the lyrics to AC/DC’s greatest rock anthem. Freedom.

America, you’re my friend. And friends can talk honestly with each other, right? You’ve been acting a little weirdly lately — and not in the good way. Here’s the latest sign: U.S. says Canada cares too much about liberties.

Is everything all right?