Mistress for Christmas

Here’s the Christmas song that Spinal Tap should’ve written: Mistress for Christmas, by AC/DC, from their 1990 album, The Razor’s Edge (you know, the one with the hit single Thunderstruck):

Mistress For Christmas

Jingle bells, jingle bells

Jingle all the day

I just can’t wait till Christmas time

When I can grope you in the hay

Easy come, easy go

Have a good time with lots of dough

Slippin’ up high, slippin’ down low

Love’m and leave’m on with the show

Listen, I like female form in minimal dress

Money to spend with a capital ‘S’

Get a date with the woman in red

Wanna be in heaven with three in a bed

He got it, I want it

They got it, I can’t have it

But I want it, it don’t matter

She got it, but I can’t get it

I want a mistress for Christmas

Easy come, easy go

Slippin’ high, slippin’ low

He got it, I want it

They got it, I can’t have it

I want it, don’t matter

She got it, and I can’t get a –

Mistress for Christmas

You know what I’m talkin’ about

I want the woman in red with bow in my bed

I can hear you coming down my smoke stack

I wanna ride on your raindeer honey and ring the bells