Lying Motherfucker is a cute collection of weblogs that supposedly belong to famous writers. Some examples…
I began to lay the table, hastily at first then more slowly as I placed each long, firm piece of cutlery with deliberation. We were eating batter-pudding and jam.
“Take your pudding in your hand,” said Mother in a short breath.
I held myself back, so as not to blunder brutally through each quivering mouthful. Some distance away could be heard the rhythmic braying of a merry-go-round, and the tooting of a horn as it was pulled and released by a skilful hand.
Asleep, yes asleep,
Into our bed I creep.
Though I’ve still got shoes on
And my foot is asleep.
Where’s my wallet? My hat?
Did I let out the cat?
Who cares about that?
Wifey’s raring to go and wants hot Seuss action
I can tell when she snores and calls me a twat.
“No,” she yawns. “Not tonight. Not today.”
I’ll do it myself, then. I’m better anyway.
Other news – realized I have multiple copies of The Best of the Carpenters. Concerned what this will do to “street cred.”
Let’s see: Built while “bored” (I’m reading “bored” as “drunk, possibly high”) one night, and…
I’ve got a lot to do this week, but I’m fine with that. I intend…
Last month, I wrote about a manufacturing mistake that became a hit for the Year…
Once again, here’s another of my regular reminders to double-check your work (or better still,…
12 years ago, I drove with all the stuff I could fit into “Rhonda the…