Accordion City is often referred to as the most multicultural city in North America, if not the whole planet, and we generally get along. If we ever decide that we need a city anthem, I would recommend that we simply adopt Deuce Poppi’s My White Friends:
[Attention Carson T. Foster and Wil McLean! You need to get the karaoke version of this song!]
Accordion City has a reputation for its great blend of different nationalities, races and cultures, and it’s one of the reasons I love this place. However, there are times when the folks at City Hall, in their well-intentioned attempts to be inclusive, seem to be trying a little too hard. Case in point: how the stock photo, pictured below on the left, got photoshopped (and quite obviously, too) into the cover of the Toronto Fun Guide, pictured below on the right:
Speaking as a force of darkness – I much prefer being called that to “person of colour” – I find inclusivity-by-editing to be a little silly, if not condescending. C’mon, people! This is Toronto! If you really want a picture of an ethnically diverse family in this city, all you have to do is bring a camera to any busy public place – say any major shopping mall – and wait five minutes.
You could also just use the photo below, which features real Toronto people: a Filipino guy, an American Jewish woman and a giant pita from somewhere in the Mediterranean or Middle East. Three ethnicities, one pic!
Back in high school, after reading Space-Time and Beyond for the umpteenth time and drinking one too many zombies with my friend Henry, we came up with a theory:
In the infinite set of universes, there had to exist a particular universe in which the events in our lives were being watched as a TV show.
We then made a solemn vow to live the kind of life that got high ratings.