Beijing now looks like “Blade Runner”

by Joey deVilla on January 15, 2015

beijing is blade runner

Click the photo to see it at full size.

After seeing the tweet below, I had to put together the graphics in this post. The crowded, dirty Los Angeles of 2019 featured in the 1982 film Blade Runner looks rather pristine compared to the real-life Beijing of 2015.

beijing is blade runner 2

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If you’ve heard the aphorism “there is no ‘I’ in ‘team'”, you may be surprised to discover that it’s not true:

the i in team

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Florida of the Day: The Sausage Castle

by Joey deVilla on January 13, 2015

florida of the day - sausage castle

definitely floridaAt Mike Busey’s Sausage Castle, located in St. Cloud, Florida, you can dance with snakes, ride ponies, and shoot Class 3 machine guns with the self-proclaimed “most ratchet stripper” in Orlando. Gentlemen, we may have found my bachelor party location!

Here’s a video about this so-very-Florida place:

Here’s a pic of Mike Busey, whom Vice describes as “a Juggalo version of Willy Wonka”:

mike busey

Mike claims to be the nephew of actor/train wreck Gary Busey, but it’s also been said that this is a fiction concocted by Mike, who’s simply taking advantage of his uncanny resemblance. Along with Mike, the Sausage Castle is occupied by his weird buddies and a cohort of “Busey Beauties”). Think of the place as a low-budget, Florida-flavored version of the Playboy Mansion.

ratchet regi

Pictured above is one of the Busey Beauties, Ratchet Regi, whose sweet “girl next door” looks are at odds with her title of “Orlando’s most ratchet stripper”. She became internet famous after a video of her doing a lap dance for 500-pound Busey buddy Big LA [warning: may not be safe for your workplace] — which might be more accurately described as a “lapband dance”) at this year’s Gathering of the Juggalos became a big hit.

sausage castle fire performance

Busey loves to throw parties, but he’s a renter, and these the sort of parties that get you evicted. He finally found a very tolerant landlord, who allows him to throw the sort of shindig where fire-breathing, stripping, and airboat rides through the swamp are all part of the fun.

sausage castle 01

In order to cover the rent, Mike has a number of income streams, all based on the Sausage Castle and the wackiness that takes place within. He sublets to veterans and the Busey Beauties, throws parties for interns from the nearby Walt Disney World, holds events for which he charges cover for attending or viewing online, and hosts “Rockstar Weekends,” where for a few thousand bucks, you can hang at the Sausage Castle and live out your sex fantasies.

sausage castle 04

Back in September, the Orlando Weekly published an article announcing that Busey had some rooms for rent. The going rate is $800/month. I’m good for accommodations, but I’m putting this place on my “Plan B” list in case my current situation, which is quite good, goes seriously awry.

sausage castle 03

Amidst all the weirdness, there’s a sense of family among the people who live at the Sausage Castle. That’s probably due to Busey’s messed-up upbringing and his longing for some sort of stability, and the “family” ethos that Juggalos preach. As the report on the Sausage Castle in Vice puts it:

Without traditional familial ties, Mike created his own with his loved ones and friends who live and hang around the Sausage Castle. Even though they are crazies, covered in poo and period blood, the Sausage Castle residents take care of one another better than many people look after their biological children, siblings, and grandparents.

“I always felt this sense of insecurity, like things weren’t stable,” Mike said. “I’ve known different ways of life and different lifestyles growing up, but the Sausage Castle has been the most continuous, steady thing. It’s going on, like, 15 years now. I’ve never had anything in my life last this long, not even a Christmas tradition or a relationship—nothing. It’s one of the few places where I find some kind of sick, twisted contentment and inner joy and peace amid the ridiculousness of what I call my life.”

sausage castle 02

Here’s how far away I live from the Sausage Castle:

distance from me

For the full story, read: Welcome to the Sausage Castle, Home to Florida’s Most Free-Spirited Freaks and the follow-up, More Photos from the Sausage Castle. Please be advised that some of the photos in these articles may not be safe for your workplace.

Thanks to Meryle Evans for the find!

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never be afraid to try

I’ve got no argument with the “never be afraid to try” part, but…

  • What little evidence there is of Noah’s Ark’s existence is a bit sketchy and not trustworthy, what with it being based on the mistranslated hand-me-down propaganda of biased bronze age “47 percenters” who ended up waging class war on Egypt’s job creators.
  • The written account says that Noah built the Ark with help from God. If you’ve ever worked on a group project, you know that there’s always a star player who does 90% of the work. Who better than the guy who engineered the crisis in the first place to design the thing that would get you through it?
  • The Titanic’s sinking can partially be blamed on construction (substandard materials), but operator error played a large role.
  • If you need folksy-sounding wisdom like this to get motivated, even the most minor of obstacles is likely to discourage you.

assrockets and opportunities

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Sign of the day

by Joey deVilla on January 12, 2015

life and beer twitter

Click the photo to see it at full size.

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Meanwhile, on FOX News…

by Joey deVilla on January 12, 2015

meanwhile on fox news

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Four years ago today, I wound up in the ICU

by Joey deVilla on January 11, 2015

my hospital week

Four years ago today — Tuesday, January 11th, 2011 — I was newly-separated, feeling chills, and having difficulty breathing. By that evening, I wound up in the ER of St. Joseph’s Health Centre in Toronto, and in “droplet isolation” in the the ICU by the next day.

My throat had swollen so tightly shut that they hung this sign over my bed:

If you’re stuck trying to think of a name for your band, you might want to consider this.

While I was lying in that ICU bed, I made myself a few promises. I promised myself that I’d not just survive, but go on to meet someone new, and hey, if the situation allowed for it, maybe even relocate.

Four years later, I’m living in Tampa and a little under two months away from getting married. I’m pretty pleased with how things turned out.

Go read My Hospital Week, my story about my time in the ICU. You’ll laugh and you’ll cringe as I talk about bedpan negotiations, foot-long Q-tips and where they end up, accidentally disconnecting my emergency call button, and the reality of being sponge-bathed by a cute nurse.

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