When I saw the t-shirt that my wife Anitra had hung up to dry, my first instinct was to throw the “west side” gang sign and yell out “WU-TANG!”
(Clearly I’ve been watching too much Chappelle Show and listening to old-school hip-hop. And hey, I work from home, so I can yell random things whenever I like.)
However, upon closer inspection and a little thought, it occurred to me that the logo on the t-shirt wasn’t that of the Wu-Tang Clan, but of the company she just joined: Malwarebytes, the anti-malware software development company, who have an office in nearby Clearwater.
(By the way: congrats, Anitra, on landing such a sweet gig!)
I think I can be forgiven for making this mistake. Here’s the Wu-Tang Clan logo:
And here’s a close-up of the logo on the t-shirt:
Oddly enough, this close-up photo was taken just before the one at the top of this article using the same phone, but the shirt material now appears to be reddish-brown and the blue logo appears to be white.It’s “the dress” all over again!Wu-Tang!
The “really-low-bar comparison” is a debating trick that you should remember from high school (and should probably be left there). You could easily substitute Bannon with just about anyone — even someone who plays that most disreputable of instruments:
Photoshoppery by Yours Truly. Click to see at full size.
The Secretary of Education is essentially responsible for managing a trillion-dollar student loan bank and distributing 30 billion dollars in Pell grants to students each year. The financial futures of an entire generation of young people depend on your department getting that right.
And followed with these questions:
Do you have any experience running a loan program of the size that’s were talking about (on the order of a trillion dollars), or even one that is one-thousandth the size (on the order of a billion dollars)?
Have you or someone in your family had to take out a student loan?
There are already laws on the books that prevent career colleges from getting federal funds unless they can prove that they’re actually preparing their students for gainful employment and not cheating them. Will you enforce these laws?
If you want to see some of the worst answers I’ve seen in a job interview, you’ll want to watch this:
Bernie Sanders’ interview questions
How much has your family contributed to the Republican Party over the years?
Would you even be considered for this position if those contributions were never made?
Would you work with me and others to make public colleges tuition-free through federal and state efforts?
Would you work with me to make childcare universal for working families?
Al Franken’s interview questions
Where do you stand on the debate on testing for proficiency vs. testing for growth?
Your family has a history of bankrolling groups that have anti-LGBT agendas and supporting widely-discredited gay-to-straight conversion therapy. Do you still believe in conversion therapy?
Do you know how much has student debt increased by in the past 8 years?
Maggie Hassan’s interview questions
When students with disabilities get a publicly-funded voucher to attend a private school, they often don’t receive adequate resources, and in some cases have to sign over their legal rights under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act. Do you think that families should have a recourse in the courts if their child’s education does not adequately meet their needs?
Will you enforce the laws that require schools to support kids with disabilities?
Christopher Murphy’s interview questions
Do you think that guns have any place in or around schools?
It’s the first time in US history that a vice president has needed to intervene in a cabinet nominee’s confirmation.
While vice presidents have a constitutional duty to break ties in the Senate, rarely are they actually called upon to intercede. Ties are few and far between; the last one took place in 2008, when vice president Dick Cheney broke a 50-50 vote on a matter related to the federal budget. The last time the Senate was tied over any sort of presidential nomination was three decades ago: In 1986, Ronald Reagan appointed a lawyer to a federal appellate court whom Democrats contested (over his lack of qualifications, much as in DeVos’s case), and vice president George Bush had to step in and push the appointee over the line.
The bitter contest over DeVos’s confirmation may be over, but the tight vote portends a tension-riddled atmosphere greeting the new secretary once she takes office.
Here’s the full-length “Redline/Whiteline” version, which used to get the mosh pit (something no longer allowed in the present fun-depleted “Sunday school picnic for Celine Dion fans” version of the pub) going on the dance floor:
The melodica is a wind instrument for keyboard players. It looks like a small piano keyboard with a plastic tube attached to one end, and as a reed instrument, has a sound similar to the harmonica or accordion. If you’ve never heard one before, here’s “Human Jukebox” playing Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody on the melodica:
Some asshole from NYC came to town, slept with my girlfriend and left the most annoying instrument known to man (and/or woman – it’s 2017) at my house. Don’t ask.
So I want it gone. Much like him, the instrument is useless. But here I am letting my personal bias taint the beauty of this air-blown-key-thing known as the Melodica.
It’s got a nice colour design, which I think is pretty sharp – as well as a strap for your hand to keep it steady while you play. Kind of like how that two-timing discounted pair of yoga pants played me.
Come grab it for $100 or best offer.
Also I’ll throw in a MacBook charger, because I’m a good guy.
Here’s the Macbook charger:
Click the photo to see the ad.
The melodica he’s selling is a Hohner AIRBOARD37, and you can get it brand new from Amazon for US$99.99 with free shipping. Asking $100 Canadian for a used one is a bit much, but the deal becomes sweeter with the 85W MacBook Pro MagSafe 2 power adapter, which will set you back US$75 at the Apple Store. I assume that the guy who slept with his girlfriend also left it there.
As I write this, the ad has had over 13,500 views. If you’re in the Toronto area and want a melodica with a free MacBook power adapter (or, if you prefer to think it this was, a MacBook power adapter with a free melodica thrown in), contact this guy now!
(And to the seller: Better luck with the next girlfriend, dude. I’ve been there.)