“It’s in the Bible, people!”

by Joey deVilla on November 18, 2016

revelation

The scene: St. John is writing the book of Revelation.

John: Lord, the End of Days is signaled by trumpets?

God: No, that’s Trump/Pence.

John: Got it. Trumpets.

God: Fine. They’ll know.

Thanks to God for the joke!

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kids-are-our-future

The sign’s punctuation could stand a little improvement, but it’s still funny. You can order it online for $16 from Riffraff.

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tongue-depressors

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Nearly 90% of India’s cash became worthless last week

by Joey deVilla on November 15, 2016

indian-bank-line

Imagine what would happen if $10 and $20 bills in the U.S. or Canada were suddenly made invalid. That’s pretty much what happened in India on November 8th.

Nearly 90% of the available paper money in India was rendered worthless a week ago when Prime Minister Narendra Modi made all 500- and 1000-rupee bills illegal in an attempt to reduce corruption, tax evasion, and counterfeiting and money laundering often associated with financing terror. Unfortunately, it means that nearly 90% of Indian cash in circulation can’t be used, creating a crisis for just about anyone in India trying to get through their day.

The Economist writes:

The government justified the move in part due to concerns over a proliferation of counterfeit notes (not unusually, it pointed the finger at neighbouring Pakistan), which it claims is fuelling the drug trade and funding terrorism. But its main impact will be on “black money”, cash from undeclared sources which sits outside the financial system. Perhaps 20% of India’s economy is informal. Some of that is poor farmers, who are largely exempt from tax anyway. But the rich are perceived to be sitting on a vast illicit loot. Though a large part of that sits in bank accounts in predictable foreign jurisdictions, a chunk of it is held in high-value Indian notes. Purchases of gold or high-end real estate have long been made at least in part with bundles (or suitcases) of illicit cash.

rs500-note rs1000-note

India’s 500- and 1000-rupee notes: no longer valid currency.

These most often-used rupee notes — in U.S. terms, they’re analogous to the $10 and $20 bills — were made immediately invalid on November 8th and people have until December 30th to get these old bills replaced with new 500- and 2,000-rupee ones. The result has been long-even-by-Asian-standards lines at banks and ATMs, and confusion among that part of the population that lives in poverty, doesn’t have a bank account, and doesn’t know what to do with what little suddenly worthless money they have.

In case you were curious, here’s a “Cost of living in India” page showing the prices of everyday things.

For more, see:

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this-meeting-is-bullshit-socks

You could point your coworkers to any number of articles about how many meetings are a waste of time, or you can simply say it with these socks. You can order them online from Absolute Ties for $12, and they’ll make a great present for that special white-collar someone in your life.

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Start your week with today’s sign of the day

by Joey deVilla on November 14, 2016

america-be-excellent-to-each-other

Click the photo to see it at full size.

Be excellent to each other, folks.

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my-flight-buddy

Yes, I know there are fingerprints all over my iPad case.

Sooner or later, we all encounter that person: the one who breaks into our personal space on a plane, often quite unintentionally. This happened to me last night on my flight home when the guy pictured above drifted off to sleep. He was in the middle seat of our row; I took the window seat because I got a spot in Southwest’s “A” group and because I have retained my sense of adventure about travel.

He certainly wasn’t drunk, but he was incredibly relaxed and floppy. He leaned on me for a moment, then leaned on the passenger in the aisle seat, and finally slumped forward against the seat in the row ahead of us. His preternatural flaccidity was a wonder to behold. If the plane crashes, I thought, he’s almost guaranteed survival.

I was all right with that state of affairs until we hit some turbulence. He bounced around like a stalk of microwaved asparagus and finally landed face first in my lap. That’s when I tapped on his shoulder and woke him up.

As he groggily pulled himself upright, I smiled at him and said “In my culture, we’re married now.”

(It’s a catchphrase my Dad used to use in awkward situations and I’d decided to borrow it.)

He gave me a weak, worried smile, and sat bolt upright for the rest of the flight.

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