Craigslist Ad of the Day

Sarah Palin porn

David “Chiamattt” Matte pointed me to this classified ad in the Los Angeles Craigslist:

NEED SARAH PALIN LOOKALIKE ASAP FOR ADULT FILM (LA)

Looking for a Sarah Palin lookalike for an adult film to be shot in next 10 days.

Major adult studio.

Please send pix, stats etc. ASAP

Pay: $2000-3000

No anal required

I would love to see Tina Fey take that role. Rrrrrrrowr!

Animated gif of Tina Fey as Sarah Palin
“Drill here, drill now!”


At Least They Spelled “Obama” Correctly…

House with Confederate flag and badly spelled signs
Photo courtesy of Miss Fipi Lele.


Who Got the PowerBook?

In the previous post, I announced that I was giving away my old 12″ 867 MHz PowerBook G4 and said that I’d give it to the person who emailed me with the most compelling reason to give it to him or her. The most compelling one came from Sue from CARD — that’s Community Association for Riding for the Disabled — who requested it for her organization.

CARD logo

CARD’s mission is to improve the lives of children and adults with disabilities through therapeutic horse riding programs, which helps with their mobility, communication and social skills, and self-esteem. All riders are assessed to ensure the program will benefit them, and to ensure they are placed appropriately in a hippotherapy, psycho-education, therapeutic riding or horsemanship class. Some of their riders who have progressed through the ranks and competed internationally at the Paralympic games and in other ParaEquestrian events.

CARD is 100% self-funded. They rely on grants, donations, sponsorship and fundraising efforts and don’t get any government support. They need to update their office equipment and are looking for donors and donations; they’re currently running on 8 year old iMacs. Of all the people who emailed me, CARD sounded like the people who needed the PowerBook the most, so it’s theirs.

I’ve got another machine to give away, so watch this space!


Terminated, Part 5: The Great Computer Give-Away, Part 2 (Apple PowerBook 12″ G4 867 Mhz) [Updated]

Update: The PowerBook has been given away.

Last time, I gave away a Mac clone from the ’90s. This time, I’m giving away this machine: a 2003-era 12″ PowerBook G4:

12" PowerBook G4 867 Mhz

Some specs:

  • 867 Mhz PowerPC G4 processor
  • 640K RAM (the maximum)
  • 1024 * 768 screen resolution
  • 40 GB hard drive
  • “Combodrive” (Reads and burns CD-ROMs, reads DVDs)
  • AirPort Extreme card

Here’s a peek at the ports on its left side:

Left side of PowerBook G4

The right side has just the CD/DVD slot:

Right side of PowerBook G4

And yes, it can be yours…FREE!

How Can You Get This Machine?

Alas, you can’t anymore; it’s been given away.


Caption This Photo

When I got this photo, it came with the caption “The ice cream truck is here!”. Feel free to come up with one of your own and post it in the comments!

Cat "screaming" by a window
Photo courtesy of Miss Fipi Lele.


b5media’s Changes to Blogger Pay: Right, Fair and Still a Sweet Deal

b5media logoI try not to bore the readers of this blog with overly technical stuff; that’s why I started my programming and technology blog, Global Nerdy.

In my latest post there, I comment on the recent TechCrunch post in which influential tech blogger Mike Arrington reports on changes to the way my former employer b5media pays its bloggers in a post titled b5media’s Changes to Blogger Pay: Right, Fair and Still a Sweet Deal.


Today is a Big “Talk to Prospective Employers” Day…

…so posting will be light today. But damn, do I look good:

Joey deVilla dressed for interviews


Terminated, Part 4: The Great Computer Give-Away (Umax C600/240 PowerMac Clone, circa 1996) [Updated]

Update: The machine has been claimed!

My sudden surplus of free time has given me some time to do some thing I’d been meaning to do but never got around to doing. One of those things is doing a little decluttering, and as a result, I have a number of computers that I don’t need anymore.

Rather than put them up for sale, I’ve decided to give the computers away to people who need them. I could put them up for sale on eBay or Craigslist, but I’ve decided to use this opportunity to do a good deed and put some goodwill out there. Some of these machines might be a bit old for everyday use and are probably of interest to collectors, but giving you an old computer makes your day better and frees up my space, that’s a good thing.

The First Free Machine

Umax C600/240 computer, AppleVision 17" monitor, keyboard and mouse

This is an oldie, but if you pine for the days of pre-Return-of-Jobs Apple, you’ll love this machine. It’s a Umax C600/240 PowerMac clone from about a dozen years ago. Some of its specs:

  • 240Mhz PowerPC 603e processor
  • 96 MB Ram
  • 2GB hard drive
  • Two video cards — the standard Mac one from that era, plus an ATI card. You can dual-monitor this baby!
  • Ethernet card

It comes with an AppleVision 17″ CRT monitor, SuperMac ADB keyboard and Apple ADB mouse. It’s got a whole bunch of old Mac software too.

How Do You Get This Machine? [Update]

You can’t anymore — it’s been claimed!

How About the Other Machines?

I’ve got an appointment right now, so I’ll have to write about them later. Watch this space!


Terminated, Part 3: Need Suggestions for Where to Have the Last Supper

[This article also appears in Global Nerdy.]

"The Last SUpper" painting, but with Disney characters

Because I was laid off and not fired from my former place of employment, they’re taking me out for a farewell dinner on Tuesday night. It’s a nice gesture on their part, and I appreciate it greatly.

I’m allowed to choose the restaurant, and I must let them know my choice by Monday, October 6th. The problem is that I’ve just got too much on the brain and need help picking a place. If you’ve got suggestions, I’d like to hear them!

Some parameters:

  • It should be within easy walking/transit travel of Queen and Spadina (that’s where the office is)
  • My guess is that there will be about 10 people total.
  • There will be drinking. A lot of it. At least 2 two rounds of “Irish Car Bombs”, too.
  • It can’t be terribly expensive (which means that Nota Bene is off the list).
  • The usual office after-work hangouts are Wayne Gretzky’s and Jack Astor’s. While perfectly serviceable, I’m looking for alternatives.
  • The Pickle Barrel is not eligible.

Unfortunate Headline Placement

Toronto Sun Headlines: "Woman Brutally Attacked" beside photo of two Toronto Blue Jays high-fiving with the headline "That's two!"
Photo courtesy of Failblog.
Click the photo to see the original.


The Sarah Palin Cover of The New Yorker

Here’s the cover of the current issue of the New Yorker:

Cover of the October 6, 2008 cover of the New Yorker featuring Sarah Palin

In case you’re too young to get the self-reference to their classic cover, here it is — “The View from 9th Avenue”:

The classic "View from 9th Avenue" cover of the New Yorker


What Newspapers and Magazine Does Sarah Palin Read?

If I were to ask you which newspapers and magazines you read — and yes, their online versions count — would you be able to name at least one? Katie Couric asked Sarah Palin that question and hilarity ensued — she hemmed and hawed like the kid presenting a book report on the book she hadn’t yet read: “Treasure Island is a book about an island. With treasure on it.”

Here’s the transcript:

Katie Couric: And when it comes to establishing your world view, I was curious, what newspapers and magazines did you regularly read, before you were tapped for this, to stay informed and to understand the world?

Sarah Palin: I’ve read most of them again with a great appreciation for the press for the media, I mean…

Couric: Like what ones specifically? I’m curious that you…

Palin: Um, all of ‘em, any of ‘em that um have been in front of me over all these years, um…

Couric: Can you name any of them?

Palin: I have a vast variety of sources where we get our news too. Alaska isn’t a foreign country where it’s kind of suggested it seems like, wow how could you keep in touch with what the rest of Washington, DC may be thinking and doing, when you live up there in Alaska. Believe me, Alaska is like a microcosm of America.

She didn’t even have the presence of mind to throw out the name of any newspaper or magazine she’s heard of: the New York Times or Washington Post? Nope. Time or Newsweek? Uh-uh. Not even Alaskan newspapers such as the Anchorage Daily News, the Juneau Empire. She didn’t even come up with the name of her hometown paper, Wasilla’s Mat-Su Valley Frontiersman, where she once worked!

If that weren’t bad enough, you have to remember that in university, she majored in journalism.


In case you were wondering, here are the newspapers and magazines I regularly read, either in dead-tree or online form. For the sake of sticking to the spirit of Katie Couric’s question, I’m not including online-only magazines.

Daily:

At least once a week:

What are your favourites?


Terminated, Part 2: How I’ll Ride Out the Layoff and the Credit Crunch: Friends

[This article was also published in Global Nerdy.]

Friends: "Amber's being immature again, isn't she?"

Technology, media and pop culture writer Douglas Rushkoff, who’s got a guest writing slot at the uber-blog Boing Boing, points to an essay titled Riding Out the Credit Collapse. Published in the spring 2008 edition of Arthur magazine, it:

  • Provides a layperson-friendly, non-drowsy explanation of how the credit crisis came about
  • Suggests the single most important thing you can do to protect yourself and your interests during the credit crisis (and in fact, any crisis, including being laid off during a credit crisis)

Don’t let the article’s apparent length scare you off — read it! Yes, it’s ten screens, but it’s set in a narrow column. If you’re still skittish about reading that much, shame on you, and here’s the part on which I want to focus:

Whatever the case, the best thing you can do to protect yourself and your interests is to make friends. The more we are willing to do for each other on our own terms and for compensation that doesn’t necessarily involve the until-recently-almighty dollar, the less vulnerable we are to the movements of markets that, quite frankly, have nothing to do with us.

If you’re sourcing your garlic from your neighbor over the hill instead of the Big Ag conglomerate over the ocean, then shifts in the exchange rate won’t matter much. If you’re using a local currency to pay your mechanic to adjust your brakes, or your chiropractor to adjust your back, then a global liquidity crisis won’t affect your ability to pay for either. If you move to a place because you’re looking for smart people instead of a smart real estate investment, you’re less likely to be suckered by high costs of a “hot” city or neighborhood, and more likely to find the kinds of people willing to serve as a social network, if for no other reason than they’re less busy servicing their mortgages.

I think Rushkoff’s got the right idea, and I’d like to torque it a little further. Forget for a moment the more fanciful ideas of printing your own “Canadian Tire Money”; when he says “local currency”, I want you think of these things:

  • Reputation,
  • Goodwill,
  • and most importantly, Luck.

Among the many things that I’m churning in my brain right now — along with updating the resume, finding a place to put all the stuff that I used to keep at the office and getting that eye appointment with Dr. Heeney before my work-provided insurance coverage expires — is real-world testing an idea and writing about it here. That idea rests on two principles, namely:

  1. Having friends and being friendly makes you lucky. I’ve always suspected it, and Marc Myers wrote a book on the topic.
  2. I’d rather be lucky than smart. It’s the mantra of my all-time favourite financial planner, whom I shall refer to as “P. Kizzy”. If I get even a tenth of P. Kizzy’s business acumen, I will be a very happy man.

Watch this space, ’cause I’m going to expand on those ideas!


Unfortunate Ad Placement

Oh, snap:

Two ads on facing pages of a magazine -- the first's headline is "My sister accidentally killed herself", and the second's is "Oops."

The ad on the left is a skin cancer ad, which reminded me of a term I’d only recently encountered: the “sun scare industry”. It was a term used in a news release by the Indoor Tanning Association (yeah, I went “Really?” too) that saluted Sarah Palin for putting a tanning bed in the Alaska governor’s mansion. The last line of the release quotes Dan Humiston, President of the Indoor Tanning Association and it’s a real gem:

“Kudos to Governor Palin for standing up to dermatologists and other members of the sun scare industry who are trying to frighten Americans away from UV light.”

Those pesky busybody skin doctors! No wonder dermatologist is synonymous with buzzkill.


2 Million Pageviews!

Statcounter: 2 million pageviews!
Yearly statistics for the Accordion Guy blog, courtesy of StatCounter.

StatCounter says that sometime within the half-hour before I wrote this, The Adventures of Accordion Guy in the 21st Century got its 2 millionth page view for 2008. My thanks to all of you for making this possible!

Hint, Hint…

Hey, web advertisers! I get 100K pageviews/month and in the Technorati 5K. I can get you clicks! Email me at accordionguy@gmail.com and let’s see what I can do for you!

Hey, tech companies! Looking for a Guy Kawasaki or Robert Scoble, but who can also code? Think of me as the budget version of those guys. Or better yet, think of Guy Kawasaki and Robert Scoble as overpriced Joey deVillas. Once again, email me at accordionguy@gmail.com and let’s see what I can do to put you on top!


Shanah Tovah Umetukah!

(That’s Hebrew for “A good and sweet new year!”)

It’s Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish holiday often referred to as “Jewish New Year”, is the start of the civil year in the Hebrew calendar and the beginning of the Days of Awe. Like many other cultures’ new year traditions, it’s a time to reflect on the past year and make plans and resolutions for the upcoming one.

In honour of this holiday, here’s one of my favourite Shabot 6000 comics. Enjoy!

"Shabot 6000's" "Rosh" comic
Click the comic to see it on its original page.

P.S. Big thanks to Rochelle for inviting us to celebrate with her family tonight!