OF COURSE I’m going to tell a DJ Khaled joke!

by Joey deVilla on May 4, 2018

Need context? Here you go.

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Click the screenshot to see the Twitter conversation.

That’s right, folks — what you see above is an actual Twitter conversation featuring an actual elected U.S. representative. The conversation continues, but I suspect that the answer might leave her in the state shown below:

Tim and Eric mind blown
For more, read this Teen Vogue summary. (Did you ever think we’d live in a time when Teen Vogue would be a source of trenchant sociopolitical analysis?)

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Remember…

by Joey deVilla on May 4, 2018

Click the photo to see it at full size.

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Click the photo to see it at full size.

The world’s tallest hat, as recorded in the Guinness Book of Records, belongs to a Tampa man with a decidedly Star Wars name: Odilon Ozare. He lives in one of my favorite parts of town — Seminole Heights (Toronto friends: think late 1990s Parkdale) — with seven cockatiels, each of which is named after a different Barbra Streisand album. The Tampa Bay Times has his story in a piece titled Guinness says a Tampa man made the world’s tallest hat. There is no record of his existence.

Click the photo to see it at full size.

He says he’s made hats for the Sultan of Brunei. He claims that a person named “Sven Couture” measured his hat in order to confirm that it was record-breaking; the Tampa Bay Times confirmed that both Sven and the Guinness record actually exist. What doesn’t exist is any record of Ozare, at least under that name: “there is no voter registration, driver’s license, phone or address records for anyone by that name. He said he doesn’t vote, and property ownership is an “imperialist system” in which he refuses to participate.”

Click the photo to see it at full size.

He’s been making a lot of appearances lately:

Ozare’s efforts have already earned him coverage on Fox 13 news and from United Press International. He recently was asked to throw out the first pitch at a Bradenton Marauders minor league baseball game, which he did in a different hat, one he said is the world’s third largest.

You can see him around this Saturday. He’ll be a “celebrity judge” during the weiner dog races at RiverFest in Curtis Hixon park at 1:40 and 3:30 p.m. Later he’ll be honored as a special guest at Ella’s Cinco de Derby party, where people are encouraged to participate in a best hat contest for prizes.

Best of all, his record-breaking hat will go on display with all the other folk art at local gem Ella’s Americana Folk Art Cafe, which I blogged about a couple of years back.

If you’d like to find out more about Ozare, go check out the Tampa Bay Times piece on him, and also listen to this episode of the We Don’t Have Cookies podcast where host Jason Marshall interviews him, for a full 40 minutes. If you ever want to be inspired to do great work, you’d do well to emulate Odilon:

I have to meet this guy sometime.

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“Well played, London-Heathrow. Well played.”

by Joey deVilla on May 4, 2018

Photo from Facebook posted by Mel Hynes.

Mel Hynes posted took this photo and posted it on Facebook with the comment “Well played, London-Heathrow. Well played.”

May the 4th be with you!

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Florida of the Day #1: #MeToo, Florida style

by Joey deVilla on May 4, 2018

According to “overwhelming testimony” from multiple witnesses, Nancy Oakley, a City Commissioner for Madeira Beach (not far from St. Pete Beach, where Anitra and I got married), is alleged to have licked former city manager Shane Crawford’s face and touched him inappropriately during the King of the Beach Fishing Tournament back in November, 2012.The Tampa Bay Times headlines reads City commissioner accused of licking former city manager’s face, among other inappropriate touching.

The Times explains what allegedly happened in greater, more Floridian detail:

Just before accosting Crawford, Oakley reportedly said “Don’t ever bring that blond bitch around me again,” referring to Crawford’s executive assistant and now wife, Cheryl McGrady, who was with him at the time.

Oakley then grabbed Crawford inappropriately and “slowly lick(ed) him from his Adam’s apple all the way up his face,” the investigative report states.

They also report that the incident was seen by a number of witnesses, who also say that this is typical behavior:

Current and former city employees are among the witnesses against Oakley cited in the ethics commission investigative report.

Dave Marsicano, the city’s marina and public works director, witnessed the altercation among Oakley, Crawford and McGrady.

He told the ethics commission investigator Oakley acted similarly toward him, as well, on more than one occasion. Since then, Marsicano said, he avoids Oakley at public events “in fear of unwanted sexual advances.”

Tom Verdansky, president of the Old Salt Fishing Foundation that sponsors the King of the Beach events, also witnessed Oakley accosting Crawford.

Verdansky said he, too, had been accosted by Oakley who licked his face and the faces of foundation volunteers at other fishing tournaments.

As if that weren’t enough gender role reversal, Oakley’s victims either faced reprisal…

Crawford said he did not report the incident at the time because he was concerned about his job.

The following year Oakley decided not to run for re-election and Crawford dropped the matter.

But when she decided to again run for office in 2017, Crawford filed a formal complaint with the Commission on Ethics.

Several months later, Oakley was re-elected and at her first meeting called for the commission to fire McGrady.

One month later, Oakley joined newly elected Mayor Maggi Black and Commissioner John Douthirt — who had all run for office as a ticket — to suspend Crawford from his position as city manager.

Crawford would later resign to avoid being fired.

…or they feared the consequences:

Based on Malone’s report, Melody Hadley, advocate for the Commission on Ethics, concluded that Oakley “acted inappropriately” while serving as a city commissioner.

“There is sufficient evidence to show (Oakley) made unwanted advances toward (Crawford) and/or Marsicano on at least one occasion if not more,” Hadley reported, adding that Oakley’s actions caused both Crawford and Marsicano to fear retribution if they complained.

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Florida man receives internet burn of the day

by Joey deVilla on May 3, 2018

Click the image to see the original tweet.

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