The Adventures of Accordion Guy in the 21st Century http://www.joeydevilla.com Joey deVilla's Personal Blog Wed, 17 Jan 2018 01:33:58 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.9.2 Damn it, Mr. Floofles! http://www.joeydevilla.com/2018/01/16/damn-mr-floofles/ http://www.joeydevilla.com/2018/01/16/damn-mr-floofles/#comments Wed, 17 Jan 2018 01:33:58 +0000 http://www.joeydevilla.com/?p=104728 This is what it feels like to be a decent human being on the internet in 2018:

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This is what it feels like to be a decent human being on the internet in 2018:

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Seen at the Sourcetoad office kitchen yesterday http://www.joeydevilla.com/2018/01/16/seen-sourcetoad-office-kitchen-yesterday/ http://www.joeydevilla.com/2018/01/16/seen-sourcetoad-office-kitchen-yesterday/#respond Tue, 16 Jan 2018 15:44:40 +0000 http://www.joeydevilla.com/?p=104720 Yesterday, when I stepped into the kitchen at the Sourcetoad office kitchen, this was on the table: For those of you who don’t recognize the squid-like character on the “FREE CHIPS” sign, that’s Admiral Ackbar from Star Wars, who’s remembered for a particular line of dialogue: In case you were wondering about the chips, here’s […]

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Yesterday, when I stepped into the kitchen at the Sourcetoad office kitchen, this was on the table:

For those of you who don’t recognize the squid-like character on the “FREE CHIPS” sign, that’s Admiral Ackbar from Star Wars, who’s remembered for a particular line of dialogue:

In case you were wondering about the chips, here’s the bag from which they came. It was a trap:

Ghost peppers clock in at 1 million units on the Scoville scale, which is why the chip packing says “Paqui is not responsible for any injuries that may result from ingesting this delicious terror”:

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In honor of MLK Day 2018 http://www.joeydevilla.com/2018/01/15/honor-mlk-day-2018/ http://www.joeydevilla.com/2018/01/15/honor-mlk-day-2018/#respond Mon, 15 Jan 2018 20:09:41 +0000 http://www.joeydevilla.com/?p=104713 Timely words from Dr. King: “When evil men plot good men must plan. When evil men burn and bomb, good men must build and bind. When evil men shout ugly words of hatred, good men must commit themselves to the glories of love.” In the age of the president trying to keep people from “shithole” […]

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Timely words from Dr. King:

“When evil men plot good men must plan. When evil men burn and bomb, good men must build and bind. When evil men shout ugly words of hatred, good men must commit themselves to the glories of love.”

In the age of the president trying to keep people from “shithole” (or “shithouse”) countries out, asking Americans of Asian descent where they’re really from, being soft on white nationalism, and still somehow claiming to the be the least racist person he knows with a straight face, what Martin Luther King said applies more than ever.

“Orange Julius Caesar” is taking MLK Day — like so many other days — off to golf. As for me, I’m at the office, running with an idea put forth by Canadian poet Dennis Lee* in his poem Civil Elegies and paraphrased by Scottish writer Alasdair Gray:

“Work as if you live in the early days of a better nation.”

* If you went to elementary school in Canada, you might be familiar with one of Dennis Lee’s poems, Alligator Pie. If you’re from outside Canada but are into ’80s pop culture, you might be familiar with these works of Lee’s: he wrote the lyrics for the Fraggle Rock theme and co-wrote the story for the movie Labyrinth.

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That’s pretty much my story, too. http://www.joeydevilla.com/2018/01/12/thats-pretty-much-story/ http://www.joeydevilla.com/2018/01/12/thats-pretty-much-story/#respond Fri, 12 Jan 2018 17:17:43 +0000 http://www.joeydevilla.com/?p=104709 Thanks to Mitch Wagner for the find!

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Thanks to Mitch Wagner for the find!

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The most “California” car in Tampa http://www.joeydevilla.com/2018/01/06/california-car-tampa/ http://www.joeydevilla.com/2018/01/06/california-car-tampa/#respond Sat, 06 Jan 2018 19:17:23 +0000 http://www.joeydevilla.com/?p=104704 Seen near my gym a couple of weeks ago: A Tesla S 70D with John Lennon plates that read KALE YEA.

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Seen near my gym a couple of weeks ago: A Tesla S 70D with John Lennon plates that read KALE YEA.

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Florida’s cold snap means iguanas are falling out of trees and pythons are burrowing underground http://www.joeydevilla.com/2018/01/04/floridas-cold-snap-means-iguanas-falling-trees-pythons-burrowing-underground/ http://www.joeydevilla.com/2018/01/04/floridas-cold-snap-means-iguanas-falling-trees-pythons-burrowing-underground/#respond Thu, 04 Jan 2018 22:31:02 +0000 http://www.joeydevilla.com/?p=104696 The “bomb cyclone” hitting the northeast United States and eastern Canada has brought some unseasonably cold temperatures, and with it, some unusual responses from Florida wildlife. It’s so cold here that iguanas are falling from trees. (At least it’s a change from their other unusual behavior: popping up in toilets.) Being cold-blooded creatures, they “shut […]

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The “bomb cyclone” hitting the northeast United States and eastern Canada has brought some unseasonably cold temperatures, and with it, some unusual responses from Florida wildlife. It’s so cold here that iguanas are falling from trees.

(At least it’s a change from their other unusual behavior: popping up in toilets.)

Being cold-blooded creatures, they “shut down” when the temperature drops below a certain threshold. As a result, they fall out of trees, as shown in the photo above, and sometimes onto people’s windshields, as shown in the video below:

A number of turtles have also “shut down” due to the cold.

Despite their appearance, these fallen iguanas and immobilzied turtles probably aren’t dead. They’re just in the reptile equivalent of “power saving mode” and will return to normal as soon as it warms up. If you see one, just leave it alone.

The Tampa Bay Times has asked if the cold snap will have the beneficial effect of killing off Florida’s pythons. They’re an invasive species, and it’s been hoped that the cold will reduce their numbers. Unfortunately, they know how to burrow underground, and will likely survive.

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Florida of the day: Man attacked by bobcat in posh downtown Tampa condo http://www.joeydevilla.com/2018/01/04/florida-day-man-attacked-bobcat-posh-downtown-tampa-condo/ http://www.joeydevilla.com/2018/01/04/florida-day-man-attacked-bobcat-posh-downtown-tampa-condo/#respond Thu, 04 Jan 2018 17:47:15 +0000 http://www.joeydevilla.com/?p=104692 “Man says bobcat attacked him in Tampa’s Skypoint condos”, reads the headline in today’s Tampa Bay Times. The man in question is contractor Marcos Hernandez, who was visiting the building on a call when he was attacked by a bobcat owned by condo resident Christine Lee. Skypoint Condos is a posh condo in a pretty nice […]

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“Man says bobcat attacked him in Tampa’s Skypoint condos”, reads the headline in today’s Tampa Bay Times. The man in question is contractor Marcos Hernandez, who was visiting the building on a call when he was attacked by a bobcat owned by condo resident Christine Lee.

Skypoint Condos is a posh condo in a pretty nice location in downtown Tampa. Located at the corner of Ashley and Polk, it’s right across the street from Curtis Hixon Park, the Tampa Museum of Art and the Glazer Children’s Museum, the Riverwalk, and a couple of blocks away from the Straz Center for the Performing Arts and the John Germany Library, and it has a view of the minarets at the University of Tampa. It’s the last place you’d expect to get mauled by a bobcat.

The attack took place in May, and Hernandez has filed a lawsuit. Here’s what the Times has to say:

The attack is alleged to have occurred in Unit 1814 of the Skypoint building, the 36-story high-rise at 777 N Ashley Drive in downtown Tampa. Lee lives there and had custody and control of the bobcat on the date in question, the complaint states.

The Tampa Police Department responded to multiple calls about 12:15 p.m. that day. The incident did not generate a police report, but dispatch call notes indicate that Hernandez entered the condo to conduct an inspection. The notes say he was attacked by “a cat,” which scratched his arms and made them bleed.

His co-workers took him to Tampa General Hospital, police noted.

His complaint states he did nothing to provoke the creature into attacking him. It accuses Lee of being negligent.

Bobcats are typically twice as big as the typical housecat. While they have been known to attack pets and livestock when their regular sources of food run low, they rarely attack people — we’re too large. Still, attacks on humans do happen, and when they do, they can inflict significant wounds, instinctively pouncing on the victim’s shoulder area and going for the neck.

Even domesticated Florida cats have led to 911 calls. In July 2014, Kush, a cat in DeLand, freaked out and attacked its owners, trapping them in their bedroom until they were rescued by police.

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Meanwhile, in Florida… http://www.joeydevilla.com/2018/01/03/meanwhile-in-florida-7/ http://www.joeydevilla.com/2018/01/03/meanwhile-in-florida-7/#respond Thu, 04 Jan 2018 01:34:21 +0000 http://www.joeydevilla.com/?p=104686 …and really, we haven’t had freezing (or sub-freezing) temperatures yet: (In case you were wondering, those temperatures are in Doktor Herr von Fahrenheit’s charmingly archaic system for measuring ambient phlogiston in the ether.)

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…and really, we haven’t had freezing (or sub-freezing) temperatures yet:

(In case you were wondering, those temperatures are in Doktor Herr von Fahrenheit’s charmingly archaic system for measuring ambient phlogiston in the ether.)

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The next big grooming trend http://www.joeydevilla.com/2018/01/03/next-big-grooming-trend/ http://www.joeydevilla.com/2018/01/03/next-big-grooming-trend/#respond Wed, 03 Jan 2018 19:13:17 +0000 http://www.joeydevilla.com/?p=104681 I couldn’t figure out why I’d been getting funny looks from visitors to the Sourcetoad office all day until I remembered that my coworker Rina was handing out fake moustaches earlier this morning.

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I couldn’t figure out why I’d been getting funny looks from visitors to the Sourcetoad office all day until I remembered that my coworker Rina was handing out fake moustaches earlier this morning.

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The illiteracy-promoting interior design abomination called “backwards books” http://www.joeydevilla.com/2018/01/03/illiteracy-promoting-interior-design-abomination-called-backwards-books/ http://www.joeydevilla.com/2018/01/03/illiteracy-promoting-interior-design-abomination-called-backwards-books/#comments Wed, 03 Jan 2018 13:27:15 +0000 http://www.joeydevilla.com/?p=104658 Maybe I’m just a stuffy old nerd, but I want to subject the author of this horrible home decor tip that’s been making the internet rounds to mandatory literary re-education: The rationale is that the pages of books provide a more neutral backdrop than those pesky spines, which detract from the look that the designers […]

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Maybe I’m just a stuffy old nerd, but I want to subject the author of this horrible home decor tip that’s been making the internet rounds to mandatory literary re-education:

The rationale is that the pages of books provide a more neutral backdrop than those pesky spines, which detract from the look that the designers are going for, which seems to be a bland uniformity.

A quick search revealed that there are a number of designers who think this is a good idea. Here’s a sample from a recent article in Real Simple:

Apartment Therapy followed up with their own article, which featured one couple who’ve decided to drop the pretense of bookshelves and simply admit that books are decorative widgets that you can use to plug up any empty hole in your living space:

Since this is a design trend for empty-headed people, it shouldn’t surprise you that a morning show covered it:

Long time, no talk babes! My home tour went off without a hitch, it was lovely to have so many Hannibillians through this old house over the weekend. I am in crunch mode trying to finish an event space in time for a major NYE bash. So this very well might be “Hi” and “bye”, until after the holidays. Just wanted to pop in and wish you all a warm and wonderful next couple weeks!! Lots of love y’all!! 😘😘 . . . #howyouhome #mytradhome #myhousebeautiful #apartmenttherapy #designsponge #christmastree #targetstyle #gallerywall #christmasdecoration #christmasdecor #library #bhgcelebrate #howeedwell #currenthomeview #bookstack #interieurdesign #interieurs #myhomevibe #sassyhomestyle #christmascactus #holidayhome #midcenturymodern #rosegoldtree

A post shared by Natasha Meininger (@natasha.designs) on

 

I’m not sure what’s worse — interior design blogger Natasha Meininger’s turning the books the wrong way because she thinks the should only be decorative elements, or the fake sophistication she’s trying to project with her half-French hashtags, #interieurdesign and #interieurs.

Her rationale for her crime-against-knowledge approach to shelving books:

“My book collection is huge so it was important to me from a design standpoint to find a creative way to store my accumulation,” she explained to TODAY Home. “I have read thousands of books. I’ve only reread about 20, so I don’t find it necessary to be able to find a specific title that I’ve already read at the drop of a hat.”

The main argument for why designers like this look is that it shows the whites of the pages, creating a cohesive color palette on your bookshelf. “I love the sculptural effect you get by facing the pages out,” Meininger added.

Here’s the article’s final paragraph:

The bottom line? if you’re not adamantly opposed to hiding the spine of your favorite books and are looking for a new way to decorate your bookshelf, this trend can be a beautiful thing to try.

I suppose it’s not as horrible as their network’s office-decorating idea of buttons that enable you to lock your office door from your desk.

It’s a big enough trend for BuzzFeed to have noticed it. To their credit, their article is titled OMG People, Why Would You Ever Do This To Books?, and its subtitle is even better: What fuckery is this?

One of the designers featured in the Buzzfeed piece seems to be more interested in the attention it brought rather than why the attention was brought in the first place:

 

I suppose it’s still less pretentious than that trend from the ’70s and ’80s where people got grand pianos not because they could play or wanted to, but simply because it “pulled the room together”, but to my mind, “backwards books” is more than just style of substance — it’s weapons-grade ignorance.

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It’s 40°F / 4°C in Tampa this morning… http://www.joeydevilla.com/2018/01/02/40f-4c-tampa-morning/ http://www.joeydevilla.com/2018/01/02/40f-4c-tampa-morning/#respond Tue, 02 Jan 2018 13:16:00 +0000 http://www.joeydevilla.com/?p=104655 …and the looks on everyone’s faces here are something like this:

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…and the looks on everyone’s faces here are something like this:

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The best animated Christmas special of 2017: “Dear Satan” http://www.joeydevilla.com/2017/12/25/best-animated-christmas-special-2017-dear-satan/ http://www.joeydevilla.com/2017/12/25/best-animated-christmas-special-2017-dear-satan/#respond Mon, 25 Dec 2017 16:24:39 +0000 http://www.joeydevilla.com/?p=104647 Thanks to their being new at things like writing and telling left from right (something that even some fully-formed adults have trouble with), a good number of children write Christmas letters to Satan instead of Santa every year. The Santa/Satan connection has been both a comedy staple and a dire warning from the Christian Taliban […]

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Thanks to their being new at things like writing and telling left from right (something that even some fully-formed adults have trouble with), a good number of children write Christmas letters to Satan instead of Santa every year. The Santa/Satan connection has been both a comedy staple and a dire warning from the Christian Taliban for years, but the best version may be this year’s animation, Dear Satan, by Anomaly London. It’s a lovely story, narrated only as Sir Patrick Stewart can, of what happened when Satan got a lovely letter from a child:

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Chillin’ at the Sourcetoad office http://www.joeydevilla.com/2017/12/22/chillin-sourcetoad-office/ http://www.joeydevilla.com/2017/12/22/chillin-sourcetoad-office/#respond Fri, 22 Dec 2017 21:29:49 +0000 http://www.joeydevilla.com/?p=104643 Click the photo to see the chilled-out scene at full size. That’s Sun-Sin, Sourcetoad marketing manager Graeme’s dog, relaxing in our reception area, waiting for our evening holiday party to start. In case you were wondering, Sun Sin is named after the great Korean admiral Yi Sun-Sin, who is immortalized in the television drama Immortal […]

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Click the photo to see the chilled-out scene at full size.

That’s Sun-Sin, Sourcetoad marketing manager Graeme’s dog, relaxing in our reception area, waiting for our evening holiday party to start.

In case you were wondering, Sun Sin is named after the great Korean admiral Yi Sun-Sin, who is immortalized in the television drama Immortal Admiral Yi Sun Sin.

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One of many reasons to come to work http://www.joeydevilla.com/2017/12/21/one-many-reasons-come-work/ http://www.joeydevilla.com/2017/12/21/one-many-reasons-come-work/#respond Thu, 21 Dec 2017 18:28:33 +0000 http://www.joeydevilla.com/?p=104639 One reason I love working at Sourcetoad: there’s this friendly face, and that of her sister.

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One reason I love working at Sourcetoad: there’s this friendly face, and that of her sister.

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Florida of the day: Audio-animatronic Trump is more inspiring and coherent than the real one, but still wears his tie like a chump http://www.joeydevilla.com/2017/12/19/florida-day-audio-animatronic-trump-inspiring-coherent-real-one-still-wears-tie-like-chump/ http://www.joeydevilla.com/2017/12/19/florida-day-audio-animatronic-trump-inspiring-coherent-real-one-still-wears-tie-like-chump/#respond Tue, 19 Dec 2017 16:29:47 +0000 http://www.joeydevilla.com/?p=104627 More lifelike and inspiring than the real thing… Watch the video below and be amazed at how inspiring — and coherent and non-racist! — the newly-installed audio-animatronic version of Donald Trump at Disney World is. Even its motions and hair seem more lifelike than the actual person: …but still wears his tie like a chump The […]

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More lifelike and inspiring than the real thing…

Watch the video below and be amazed at how inspiring — and coherent and non-racist!the newly-installed audio-animatronic version of Donald Trump at Disney World is. Even its motions and hair seem more lifelike than the actual person:

…but still wears his tie like a chump

The audio-animatronic Orange Julius Caesar has a slightly better-fitting suit than his usual illfitting ones…

…but the Imagineers took care to make sure that it’s wearing a too-long tie, just like the real person.

You’d think that going to private school and then Wharton, having a father who could provide you a “small loan of one million dollars”, and hanging out with other people who wear ties daily would mean that you know how to wear a tie, but you’d be wrong. In case you were wondering, here’s a tie length guide:

By the bye, I didn’t make up the bit about being on trial in Florida for sport-humping a manatee — it actually happened, and here’s the defendant and his tie:

“Tayla the manatee slaya” is the embodiment of a joke we told each other in university:
“Q: What do you call a townie in a tie? A: The defendant.”

The question remains: Does the audio-animatronic version of Trump tape his tie, like the real one?

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The (literally) hot new toy of Christmas 2017 http://www.joeydevilla.com/2017/12/19/literally-hot-new-toy-christmas-2017/ http://www.joeydevilla.com/2017/12/19/literally-hot-new-toy-christmas-2017/#respond Tue, 19 Dec 2017 14:17:56 +0000 http://www.joeydevilla.com/?p=104620 Click the photo to see this burning sensation at full size. Last year, it was all about sending glitter to people you don’t like. This year, it’s about giving “My First Fire” to their kids! Click the photo to see this burning sensation at full size. This is a real product available on Amazon, but […]

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Click the photo to see this burning sensation at full size.

Last year, it was all about sending glitter to people you don’t like. This year, it’s about giving “My First Fire” to their kids!

Click the photo to see this burning sensation at full size.

This is a real product available on Amazon, but it’s just a prank gift box and not actually a set for kids ages 2 and up to start their own fires. Ah well.

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The judgmental map of Tampa Bay http://www.joeydevilla.com/2017/12/18/judgmental-map-tampa-bay/ http://www.joeydevilla.com/2017/12/18/judgmental-map-tampa-bay/#respond Mon, 18 Dec 2017 21:00:04 +0000 http://www.joeydevilla.com/?p=104615 Click the map to see the original at Judgmental Maps. “Alex S.’s” map is pretty accurate, and nowhere near as racist as the one for Vancouver. In case you were curious, I live in “Older Suburbs”.

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Click the map to see the original at Judgmental Maps.

“Alex S.’s” map is pretty accurate, and nowhere near as racist as the one for Vancouver. In case you were curious, I live in “Older Suburbs”.

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Tampa Bay notes: St. Pete’s new 85-tap serve-yourself beer bar, win a hydroponics shop in an essay contest, and more Florida men and women http://www.joeydevilla.com/2017/12/18/tampa-bay-notes-st-petes-new-85-tap-serve-beer-bar-win-hydroponics-shop-essay-contest-florida-men-women/ http://www.joeydevilla.com/2017/12/18/tampa-bay-notes-st-petes-new-85-tap-serve-beer-bar-win-hydroponics-shop-essay-contest-florida-men-women/#respond Mon, 18 Dec 2017 13:19:09 +0000 http://www.joeydevilla.com/?p=104601 It’s going to be a warm week leading up to Christmas in Tampa Bay, starting with some thick fog. I’m going to have to set aside some patio bar time this week! For those of you outside the three countries that don’t use Herr Doktor Fahrenheit’s old-timey system for measuring phlogiston, I’ve added the temperatures in […]

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It’s going to be a warm week leading up to Christmas in Tampa Bay, starting with some thick fog. I’m going to have to set aside some patio bar time this week!

For those of you outside the three countries that don’t use Herr Doktor Fahrenheit’s old-timey system for measuring phlogiston, I’ve added the temperatures in Celsius to the weather report above.

St. Pete’s new 85-tap serve-yourself beer bar opens!

Okay, local friends — when are we going to St. Pete’s Pour Taproom, which boasts 85 serve-yourself taps? They just opened, and it appears that they have a solid selection, including gluten-free beers.

Pour Taproom charges by the ounce, not by the glass, which makes it easier to try a small sample of something and see if you like it. The combination of a Disney World-like wristband and sensors on each tap make it so that you can serve yourself while they tally up your bill. Their prices range from 20 to 90 cents an ounce.

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Win a hydroponics business in this essay contest!


This will sound like a fantasy to a number of my friends with a writerly bent, but it’s real: Allan Bednar, owner of Simply Hydroponics and Organics, a 25 year-old business based in Largo (a 40-minute drive southwest of my place), will give it to the person who writes the best essay explaining why he should do so. That’s right: you can win a business by winning an essay contest!

Entries will be accepted through March 15, 2018, and the winner will be announced on April 2, 2018. The original announcement date was scheduled to be April 1, but too many people forgot that this is Florida and assumed that the contest was an April Fool’s prank.

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Florida mayor resigns for a very Florida reason

Florida leads the nation in identity theft, and is famous for people making terrible choices for insanely petty reasons, so it’s only natural that someone would combine the two. Teresa Bradley had to resign from her position of Mayor of Davenport, Florida (it’s just under two hours east of Tampa) after it was discovered that she was parking in handicapped spaces with permits acquired by stealing dead people’s identities.

“I’m representing myself, your honor.” Hilarity ensues.

The Tampa Bay Times has an amusing article about the Florida men and women who choose act as their own attorney in court. One of them did jury selection by asking potential jurors: “Do you like pets? Do you think I look like Charles Manson? Do you hate my hair?”

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Headline of the day http://www.joeydevilla.com/2017/12/15/headline-of-the-day-2/ http://www.joeydevilla.com/2017/12/15/headline-of-the-day-2/#respond Fri, 15 Dec 2017 15:19:25 +0000 http://www.joeydevilla.com/?p=104596 Click the screenshot to see the source. Come to think of it, I can recall a few times where I thought that killing my opposition would make me very happy. Also, one of the things I say to Anitra when I kiss her goodbye each morning in addition to “I love you” is “Death to your […]

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Click the screenshot to see the source.

Come to think of it, I can recall a few times where I thought that killing my opposition would make me very happy. Also, one of the things I say to Anitra when I kiss her goodbye each morning in addition to “I love you” is “Death to your enemies.”

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Don’t. Mess. With. Me. http://www.joeydevilla.com/2017/12/13/dont-mess-with-me/ http://www.joeydevilla.com/2017/12/13/dont-mess-with-me/#respond Wed, 13 Dec 2017 15:30:47 +0000 http://www.joeydevilla.com/?p=104593 Found via They Might Be Giants.

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Found via They Might Be Giants.

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