The Adventures of Accordion Guy in the 21st Century Joey deVilla's Personal Blog Wed, 27 May 2015 03:08:17 +0000 en-US hourly 1 BBC map to accompany their Waco biker shootout story, or a “good ol’ boy’s” view of the world? Mon, 18 May 2015 18:54:27 +0000

bbc usa map

Click the map to see the news story it cam from.
Thanks to Tod Gemuese for the find!

I would ask: “Why can’t it be both?”

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The “Steve Jobs” movie teaser trailer Mon, 18 May 2015 16:42:58 +0000

The teaser trailer for the upcoming Steve Jobs film, written by Aaron Sorkin and directed by Danny Boyle, is out! Watch to video above to see:

  • Michael Fassbender as Jobs,
  • Jeff Daniels as John Sculley, whom Jobs brought on board for his marketing expertise, and who later took over as CEO,
  • Kate Winslet as Joanna Hoffman, who joined the Macintosh team, wrote the first draft of the Mac Human Interface Guidelines, followed Jobs to NeXT, and who was reputed to be one of the few people who could stand up to Jobs regularly,
  • and Seth Rogen as Woz!

While the previous Steve Jobs film had an actor who bore a striking resemblance to Jobs

kutcher as jobs

…this film boasts a better writer, a better director, and much better actors (although there’s something to be said about Woz being played in the previous film by the guy who voiced Olaf from Frozen).

For comparison’s sake, here are Jobs and Woz as seen in Steve Jobs

fassbender as jobs and rogen as woz

…and here they are as they appeared in real life back then:

the real jobs and woz

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Sign of the day, Ybor City dive bar edition Sat, 16 May 2015 18:17:45 +0000

sign of the day

Seen last night at The Dirty Shame, a lovely dive bar in Ybor City. They could’ve extended the rhyme with “Try the alley / But don’t let the cops see”.

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Baltimore and Maryland: Redefining the term “police state” Sat, 16 May 2015 14:14:55 +0000

baltimore schools

Governor Larry Hogan (a Republican, of course) announced on Thursday that $68 million lawmakers set aside for schools will now go to the state’s pension system, of which Baltimore would have received over $11 million. He explained the decision by saying “there is no magical pot of money”.

baltimore youth jail

State officials did approve something for young people: a $30 million, 60-bed jail to house Baltimore teenagers charged as adults, a step to address years of concern about the practice of housing young city defendants alongside adults. In doing so, they were violating the law by keeping the youths in the same facility as grown-ups, where teens often are secluded and do not receive school or other services while incarcerated. See? Go to jail, get funded education!

Of course, you need more police to put people in jail, and that’s been taken care of, too. Governor Hogan also announced that he’s diverting funds meant for an art center to state police. “I am a huge proponent of the arts, and the first lady is a former member of the Anne Arundel County Arts Council. But in the current environment, a State Police barrack in our state capital and adequate funding for public safety in Annapolis must be the priority.”

And the way he’s going, that current environment he speaks of will be around for a long time.

The lesson to learn from Baltimore and Maryland is this:

the real looters wear suits and ties

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R.I.P. B.B. King Fri, 15 May 2015 14:06:16 +0000

bb king

Yesterday, the world lost the Blues Man’s Blues Man. B.B. King died yesterday in his sleep at the age of 89.

Anyone who’s ever thought about playing the blues or its descendants even half-seriously has listened to and “borrowed” a lick of two from his playing. You’ll hear a lot of guitarists go on about how they borrowed a trick or two from him, but I’d wager that at least a couple of keyboard players — me included — were inspired by King. A good number of my own organ, synth and accordion blues scale runs, pitch bends, and bellows shakes come straight from playing along to recordings of Lucille (both the song and the guitar after which it’s named). I used to own an Ensoniq EPS sampling keyboard with samples from King’s How Blue Can You Get?, and so did Primitive Radio Gods, because they used them in their 1996 single, Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth with Money in My Hand.

Rather than go on about his life, I’ll simply point you to article on him in Wikipedia, The New York Times, Rolling Stone, NPR, and The Washington Post, as well as Javier Alor’s collection of 79 B.B. King YouTube videos. Pour a bourbon, crank up the volume, play it, and drink to B.B. King.

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Meme of the day: Substantial Guy! Thu, 14 May 2015 14:24:36 +0000

substantial guy

Need to know what this is all about? Check out this story.

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Florida of the day: The gator could’ve eaten your homework Thu, 14 May 2015 12:53:27 +0000

gator on campus

Photo by Kiki Coulouras (@keeeks37). Click the photo to see the source.

definitely floridaEast Lake High, my wife’s old high school in nearby Tarpon Springs, had its “only in Florida” moment earlier this morning when students reported an alligator skulking around campus. Gators typically hunt at dusk or night, but we’re pretty close to mating season, when they get a little more bold than usual.

gator trapper

The gator was reported to be about 5 feet long. Students were gathered into the school’s gymnasium while a professional trapper rounded it up, taped its mouth shut (gators’ jaw muscles have great strength for snapping shut, but not for opening), and hauled it away.

Here’s some video of the trapper in action:

Footage from the local FOX 13 News.


caps lock

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“Fire him right in the peninsula!” (or: Kim Jong-Un is a horrible boss) Wed, 13 May 2015 16:04:24 +0000


According to the BBC, North Korea’s Defence Minister Hyon Yong-chol has been executed for showing disloyalty to leader Kim Jong-un. It’s reported that Mr. Hyon’s specific acts of disloyalty were:

  • Falling asleep during an event attended by Kim Jong-un
  • Not carrying out instructions.

Let that be a lesson to you millennials out there slacking off!

However, the most “North Korea” thing about the whole incident is the report that the execution was carried out by anti-aircraft fire.

Seriously, Kim, you’re already short resources as it is — a traditional firing squad would’ve saved time and money, and you could’ve billed Hyon’s family for the bullet after, Mao-style.

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The daily struggle Wed, 13 May 2015 13:48:24 +0000

the struggle

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F*** him right in the paycheque, misuse of the word “substantial”, and other douchery [Updated] Wed, 13 May 2015 02:23:04 +0000

shawn simoes - clean version

Click the photo to see the uncensored version.

Until early this week, Shawn Simoes, pictured above, had a nice job. Note the use of the past tense. If you live in the Toronto area and have been watching or reading the local news, you likely already know why he no longer has said job.

The video

If you don’t know why, watch this video below, taken at Sunday’s soccer match, immediately after a group of idiots rushed the camera where CityTV news reporter Shauna Hunt was working and yelled “Fuck her right in the pussy!”, having been inspired by a videobombing prank that inspired copycats despite being a hoax. Hunt decided to challenge them and ask why they’d do such a thing:

The instigators

Sadly, there were different groups of guys waiting to yell the magic “FHRITP” phrase (as it’s called in polite circles). One guy managed to pull it off…


…and others were quick to back him up with a “Well played, sir!”. Hunt then went to confront a gaggle of guys in the background who’d been waiting for the opportunity to strike:


Look at the background and you’ll see what sets Toronto apart from most places: it’s so multicultural that we even have douchebags of colour!

Mr. Vocabulary

Next came this douchenozzle, who attempt to justify the unjustifiable with a classic debating tactic: attempting to sound smarter by using highfalutin’ words that he doesn’t even understand:

quite substantial

I’ll leave it to Mr. Inigo Montoya of The Princess Bride to respond:


It was later found that Mr. Vocabulary works at the machine vision tech company Cognex, who released a statement as soon as that fact became known:

“While the individual was attending the event on his own time and was not at a Cognex activity, the views expressed are totally inconsistent with Cognex’s values, and we find such comments reprehensible. We cannot comment on employee matters publicly, but we take this issue seriously and will be addressing it.”

He’s probably having a bad time at work this week, but his troubles are minor next to the next guy’s…

The guy who just couldn’t keep his mouth shut

And finally, we come to the accidental douchelord, Shawn Simoes. He wasn’t even involved with the FHRITP and could’ve walked right by without saying a word and drastically chaging his life. However, using judgement so poor that it’s downright Floridian, he stepped into the fray to defend the actions of his fellow bros:

shawn simoes 2

Here’s a transcript of their exchange:

Shawn Simoes: Fucking hilarious, I don’t care what you say, I am laughing!

“Quite substantial” guy: It has nothing to do with you, it has everything to do with everyone else.

Reporter Shauna Hunt: When you talk into my microphone and say that into my camera to viewers at the station I work at it is disrespectful and…

Shawn Simoes: I don’t care it’s fucking hilarious!

Shauna Hunt: Okay why is it so funny though? [directed at Shawn Simoes] Why is this funny?

Shawn Simoes: It is fucking hilarious! We’re not the only people, it happened in England.

Shauna Hunt: Do you know that it’s old? It’s really not funny.

Shawn Simoes: It’s been like a year!

Shauna Hunt: It’s been longer than that.

Shawn Simoes: You’re lucky there’s not a fucking vibrator in here, like in England, because it happened all the time. It’s fucking amazing and I respect it, all the time!

Shauna Hunt: If your mom saw you-

Shawn Simoes: Oh my mom would die laughing eventually!

The employer who had to avoid more bad PR

hydro one logoEven though Simoes didn’t have the good sense not to be a boor with a TV news camera pointed right at him, he might’ve been just another dick on the internet if it weren’t for his employer’s current situation.

Simoes worked at the public electric utility company Hydro One (“hydro” being local shorthand for “hydroelectric power”). If you live outside Ontario, you might not be aware of these three factors that are crucial to this story:

Simoes’ actions and public salary would paint them as a bunch of well-paid douchebags, which is probably why they quickly fired him…

…and shortly thereafter, in a speedy and efficient manner that is oh-so-very-uncharacteristic of Hydro One, they excised his name from the Sunshine List. The Huffington Post managed to capture it before the deletion:


It’s likely that their move was based more on Machiavelli than morals.

Cognex, while it’s got a controversy of its own, isn’t facing a PR crisis like Hydro One’s, had a great quarter, and its prospects look bright. Still, it’s likely that they’ll take some disciplinary measures for Mr. Vocabulary. They may even give him a dictionary.

One last look

shawn simoes 2

Well, it looks as though Shawn Simoes will have plenty of time to discuss the supposed hilarity of this incident with his mom, who may laugh about it…eventually.

Updated Wednesday, May 13 to provide context for the photos, a transcript of Shawn Simoes’ exchange with reporter Shauna Hunt, and more background about Hydro One (thanks to Rohan!).

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Disney’s secret public service Tue, 12 May 2015 01:19:58 +0000

They may look like Disney souvenirs, but they’re actually warning labels for toxic people!

Here’s the female version:

high maintenance

…and here’s the male version:

disney fedoras

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Once again, it’s time for the traditional Mother’s Day post on “Accordion Guy” Mon, 11 May 2015 01:49:27 +0000

It’s Mother’s Day, so here’s a greeting from the baddest mother of them all:

In case you’re not familiar with the classic 1971 blaxploitation film, here’s the original trailer:

Now let’s all enjoy the smooth stylings of the late Mr. Isaac Hayes:

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The hipsters’ new favorite online store: Cravat Club! Fri, 08 May 2015 19:46:29 +0000

I found about the existence of Cravat Club through the Twitter account of the Sweet Feathery Jesus podcast. Posted deep in the heart of the stock quotes pages of a UK newspaper was the ad shown below. It’s well past the Hipster Event Horizon:

cravat club

I couldn’t help but visit, and wow, is the Hipster was very strong in that one:

cravat club 2

They’ve got quite a selection of splendiferous cravats, including my favorite, the Igor, which can be yours for a mere 95 quid (just shy of US$147 at today’s rates):


I’ve got one cravat, and since I wear it once every three or four years and ditched the beard last year, I don’t think I’m going to be handing Cravat Club any money soon:

Joey and Karl play accordions

Me and Karl Mohr in cravats, playing accordion on CBC Radio, June 1999.
(Yes, I know that we dressed up to appear on the radio. That’s just how we roll.)

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Second monthaversary! Fri, 08 May 2015 13:40:16 +0000

anitra and joey at buzz lightyear

As you can see, living in a warm climate is slowly turning me into Matthew McConaughey.
Awright, awright, awriiiiiight.

In honor of the end of our second month as a married couple, here’s a pic from our honeymoon. We spent it at Disney World (a present from my sister and brother-in-law, complete with a stay at the Grand Floridian and the full-on fancy-pants meal package) and had a blast.

Happy second monthaversary, sweetie!

Some wedding pictures, if you’re curious.

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“Groovy Jazz Organ”: Your Thursday productivity-booster Thu, 07 May 2015 20:01:53 +0000

booker t

Booker T. Jones on the Hammond B-3 organ. Perhaps you’ve heard his number Green Onions.

Miracle of miracles, for the first time in I-don’t-know-how-long, I’ve got a full day with no meetings, conference calls, brainstorming sessions, chats, nuthin’! This means I can get some actual work done, and I’ve been chugging away at it since 7:30 this morning, something that’s relatively easy to do when you have a five-second commute:

home office

The home office. Click to see it at full size.

A home office means that you can also crank the tunes, and I’ve found the Groovy Jazz Organ compilation to be productivity-boosting. Some kind soul has posted them on YouTube, and I’ve posted them here for your enjoyment, whether you’ve got your nose to the grindstone or in a martini glass.

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The Mayweather vs. Pacquiao battle that REALLY matters Mon, 04 May 2015 14:56:13 +0000

Floyd may have won the match, but when it comes to who won the real battle, it’s Pacquiao all the way:

mayweather vs pacquiao

Original image found via Kitty Kat; I cleaned up the grammar and typography.
Click the photo to see the source.

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Your “Throwback Thursday” poster Thu, 30 Apr 2015 20:03:48 +0000

i survived free range parenting

Based on the last image in this set; I cleaned up the typography.

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The Missus is out of town on a business trip this week, so you know what that means… Mon, 27 Apr 2015 16:23:26 +0000

awww yisss bread

You might be thinking: Booze? Drugs? Porn? Videogames?

No. It means something even more illicit…

GLUTEN. And pork chops.

Awww yisss.

(But not too much bread. I’m hittin’ the gym, you know.)

Or, to borrow a couple of panels from Kate Beaton’s comics:

kate beaton - motha fuckin bread crumbs

Click the comic to see the source.

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Family photos don’t get much more awkward than this… Tue, 21 Apr 2015 20:19:47 +0000

star wars awkward family photo

Found via Imgur. Click to see the source.

And geez, Luke’s doing a killer impression of Emperor Sheev Palaptine “O-face”…

force lightning family photo

Found via Imgur. Click to see the source.

There. Much better.

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What gay people are REALLY doing to Christian family values Fri, 10 Apr 2015 22:15:03 +0000

gay family values

Editorial cartoon by Andy Marlette. Click to see the source.

Andy Marlette drew the editorial cartoon above in response to a proposed bill that would let privately-owned adoption agencies dodge being considered as discriminating against clients if doing so would “violate [the agencies’] written religious or moral convictions or policies,” the bill reads. Alas, the bill passed yesterday.

The worst part about the bill passing wasn’t that it passed, but this moment when Republican Committee Chair and unmitigated asshole Charles McBurney laughingly cut off 10-year-old Nathaniel Gill’s testimony at a House Judiciary Committee meeting on the issue. Nathaniel is the son of the gay man who successfully toppled Florida’s adoption ban in the courts, and the bill is seen as “revenge” for that. As committee chair, McBurney could’ve given the nervous boy a little more time to complete his testimony, but in true neo-Pharisee fashion, cut him off and snickered as he did so:

It’s as if they’re trying to prove this maxim true:

Conservatism is the dread fear that somewhere, somehow, someone you think is your inferior is being treated as your equal.

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