Optimist Club has this photo of a pizza spatula with integrated scissors taken from the Skymall catalog:
“Every new utensil is another cry for help,” they say. If that’s true, then the Skymall and Brookstone catalogs are the twenty-first century’s equivalents of The Bell Jar.
Back in high school, after reading Space-Time and Beyond for the umpteenth time and drinking one too many zombies with my friend Henry, we came up with a theory:
In the infinite set of universes, there had to exist a particular universe in which the events in our lives were being watched as a TV show.
We then made a solemn vow to live the kind of life that got high ratings.
This is the continuation of that story.
