The headline is Dog Pursuit Sends Naked Woman Across I-95 in Florida. Here’s the opener:
But as they got closer, they saw that the woman had no clothes on. Griffin says she was naked from head to toe, and trying to round up a dog.
As for the joke from 4th grade, it’s this one:
There was a woman who had two dogs, whom she named Seymour and Freeshow. One day, while taking a shower, she noticed through the bathroom window that she’d left the gate to her yard open, and the dogs were running away. Without stopping even to garb a towel, she ran out the house and after her dogs — completely naked — calling after them: “Freeshow! Seymour!”