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Tampa Bay notes: St. Pete’s new 85-tap serve-yourself beer bar, win a hydroponics shop in an essay contest, and more Florida men and women

It’s going to be a warm week leading up to Christmas in Tampa Bay, starting with some thick fog. I’m going to have to set aside some patio bar time this week!

For those of you outside the three countries that don’t use Herr Doktor Fahrenheit’s old-timey system for measuring phlogiston, I’ve added the temperatures in Celsius to the weather report above.

St. Pete’s new 85-tap serve-yourself beer bar opens!

Okay, local friends — when are we going to St. Pete’s Pour Taproom, which boasts 85 serve-yourself taps? They just opened, and it appears that they have a solid selection, including gluten-free beers.

Pour Taproom charges by the ounce, not by the glass, which makes it easier to try a small sample of something and see if you like it. The combination of a Disney World-like wristband and sensors on each tap make it so that you can serve yourself while they tally up your bill. Their prices range from 20 to 90 cents an ounce.

Find out more:

Win a hydroponics business in this essay contest!


This will sound like a fantasy to a number of my friends with a writerly bent, but it’s real: Allan Bednar, owner of Simply Hydroponics and Organics, a 25 year-old business based in Largo (a 40-minute drive southwest of my place), will give it to the person who writes the best essay explaining why he should do so. That’s right: you can win a business by winning an essay contest!

Entries will be accepted through March 15, 2018, and the winner will be announced on April 2, 2018. The original announcement date was scheduled to be April 1, but too many people forgot that this is Florida and assumed that the contest was an April Fool’s prank.

Find out more:

Florida mayor resigns for a very Florida reason

Florida leads the nation in identity theft, and is famous for people making terrible choices for insanely petty reasons, so it’s only natural that someone would combine the two. Teresa Bradley had to resign from her position of Mayor of Davenport, Florida (it’s just under two hours east of Tampa) after it was discovered that she was parking in handicapped spaces with permits acquired by stealing dead people’s identities.

“I’m representing myself, your honor.” Hilarity ensues.

The Tampa Bay Times has an amusing article about the Florida men and women who choose act as their own attorney in court. One of them did jury selection by asking potential jurors: “Do you like pets? Do you think I look like Charles Manson? Do you hate my hair?”

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Headline of the day

Click the screenshot to see the source.

Come to think of it, I can recall a few times where I thought that killing my opposition would make me very happy. Also, one of the things I say to Anitra when I kiss her goodbye each morning in addition to “I love you” is “Death to your enemies.”

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Don’t. Mess. With. Me.

Found via They Might Be Giants.

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Roy Moore’s religious nut spokesperson is stunned speechless when told that taking an oath of office doesn’t require a Bible

The second-greatest moment of yesterday’s Senate election in Alabama was when CNN anchor Jake Tapper had to explain to Ted Crockett, a Roy Moore campaign spokesperson, that you do not have to swear on the Bible when taking the oath of office.

When this fact was explained to him, he sat in stunned silence for a few seconds, like one of those robots on old-school Star Trek who’d just been told a contradictory fact by Captain Kirk:

Crockett valiantly tries to rally by reminding us that he and Trump swore on Bibles when they took their oaths of office, and Tapper pointed out because they’re Christian (well, at least in name), and that was their choice. Tapper had to state that it’s not required by law.

Other politicians have taken their oaths of office by swearing on other documents:

  • Bob Scott (mayor of Franklin, North Carolina) and Krysten Sinema (congressperson from Arizona) swore on the U.S. Constitution
  • Keith Ellison, first Muslim in Congress, swore on the Qu’ran
  • Tulsi Gabbard, first Hindu in Congress, swore on the Bhagavad Gita
  • Debbie Wasserman Schultz swore in on the Tanakh

Crockett closed out the interview with a weakly uttered “Merry Christmas”, which sounded rather like a poorly-disguised “fuck you”. It’s funny-sad how these “freedom of religion” guys usually mean “freedom of religion for me, but not for thee.”

If you’re looking for a legal precedent, check out the 1961 Supreme Court ruling for Torcaso v. Watkins. It reaffirmed that the U.S. Constitution prohibits the U.S. state and federal governments from requiring any kind of religious test for public office.

It came about when the governor of the state of Maryland appointed Roy Torcaso, an atheist as a notary public. Maryland’s Constitution at the time required “a declaration of belief in the existence of God” in order for a person to hold “any office of profit or trust in this State”. Torcaso refused to make such a statement, and they revoked the appointment. He took it first to Maryland’s First Circuit Court, and then the Court of Appeals, where he lost both times. It was only when he took it to the United States Supreme Court, which used the ruling from Everson v. Board of Education

The “establishment of religion” clause of the First Amendment means at least this: Neither a state nor the Federal Government can set up a church. Neither can pass laws which aid one religion, aid all religions, or prefer one religion over another. Neither can force nor influence a person to go to or to remain away from church against his will or force him to profess a belief or disbelief in any religion.

…and Torcaso — and hey, the rest of us — won the case.

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The REAL lesson of “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”

If you’re going to be a weirdo, be a useful weirdo.

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My week, December 3 – 9, 2017

Sunday

This was a busy one. That morning, Anitra and I caught up with our friend Elizabeth for brunch. She’s from around here, but currently lives in Philly for work, and was passing through town. We met up at Brunchies, which has not just great breakfast food, but also Ginger Beard’s excellent nitro-pumped cold brew coffee, pictured above.

Next stop: our friend Gary, who lives in Brandon. He’s our go-to guy for board games, and that afternoon’s game was Tzolk’in: The Mayan Calendar, in which the goal is to become the village with the most resources and accomplishments. The game is organized around a set of interlocking gears representing the Mayan calendar, which determines the movement of time, the progress of your game, and the advancement of your workers. It was a lot of fun, and a far cry from “Monopoly” — our session took four fun-filled hours from start to finish.

Want a review of Tzolk’in: The Mayan Calendar? Check out this one by Tom Vasel of the boardgame podcast Dice Tower:

Then, after a quick dinner, we were off to the Straz…

…where we caught the very last show of Fun Home, the musical based on Alison Bechdel’s memoir. If the name rings a bell, it may be because you’ve heard of the concept bearing her name: the Bechdel test. It comes from a comic she drew in 1985 where a character says that she has specific rules about movies she’ll watch:

  1. It has to have at least two women in it…
  2. …who talk to each other…
  3. …about something other than a man.

Fun Home is about Bechdel’s coming of age and coming out as a lesbian, which is made complicated by the fact that her father, Bruce, was a closeted gay man having affairs with underage men. It’s a funny piece with great numbers and a great story, and it was performed beautifully with the U.S. touring group. The show we saw was not only the last one for Tampa, but the last show of the entire tour (which started in 2016), which is probably why they put a lot of heart and soul into their performances. We were sitting in the second row, and could not just see, but feel, that it was the closing show, and that they wanted to put on a grand finale.

Here’s Tampa Bay Times’ review of Fun Home: You should go see terrific ‘Fun Home’ at the Straz, and here’s the Washington Post’s review of the same touring company earlier this year: ‘Fun Home’ is pure musical satisfaction.

Tuesday

We had clients from out of town visit Sourcetoad earlier in the week, and we decided to show them a good time. After successfully completing the escape room at Rabbit Hole Escape Games (which I’ll write about later), we went to the Independent, which was packed with people who were there to celebrate both Krampusnacht and the fact that the Seminole Heights Killer had been caught.

In case you were wondering, Krampusnacht is German for “Krampus night”. Originally a pagan tradition, Krampus is the Christmas yang to Santa’s yin — just as Santa rewards well-behaved children with gifts, Krampus punishes children who misbehave. He’s typically depicted as a demonic creature with horns and hooves, and often carries a bundle of switches with which to beat der kinder.

The Independent was celebrating Krampusnacht with a buffet of German dishes that sounded tasty (especially the sausages and spätzle) and a Krampus costume contest, where the entrants ran the gamut from “Santa with horns” to “full-on goat demon”. I posed with a couple of them, as you can see from the photos above.

The buffet had been eaten up by the time we arrived, so we went to The Refinery instead, where I finally tried the Refined Burger, which is topped with peanut butter and marshmallow fluff, and it was delightful.

Wednesday

On Wednesdays, Sourcetoad’s marketing manager Graeme, brings in his Shiba Inu, Sun Sin, to the office. Sun Sin’s an older dog — 12 years old, which would put him in his 80s if he were a human — and he’s oddly cat-like in his aloofness. He’s free to roam the office, and he’s welcome in the one I share with Nick, the director of projects, which is where I found him when I took the photo above. I gave him a ear rub, and worked on a big presentation while he chilled out.

If you’re wondering about the name Sun Sin, it’s an homage to Yi Sun Sin, the 16th century Korean “Immortal Admiral” who had several major victories over the Japanese navy. His life has been dramatized in the Korean TV series Immortal Admiral Yi Sun Sin. I will admit to having saluted the dog and addressing his as “Admiral”.

Here’s another photo of Sun Sin in action. I’ve titled this one “Such sleep. Much tired.”

Thursday

Anitra and I went to Tampa Bay Brewing Company in Ybor City for the holiday party thrown by Tampa Bay’s Agile, Java, User Experience, and Front End Design Meetup groups. They’ve got a good stout on tap, and I also tried Keel and Curley’s mango cider, which is downright amazing.

They had an “Ugly Christmas Sweater” contest, in which Anitra (pictured above and on the right) won the prize for Most Hilarious Sweater — her Christmas with Darth Vader sweater, complete with red LED-illuminated lightsabers.

Friday

My schedule has kept me rather busy lately, and as a result, I haven’t been able to attend Café con Tampa as much I’d like to. After a hiatus of a few weeks, I attended Friday’s session, which featured Tallahassee mayor and gubernatorial candidate Andrew Gillum. You can see my writeup and photos here.

If you’re in Tampa Bay and would like to have the opportunity to mingle with the area’s most active, engaged, involved, and well-dressed citizens and hear important topics given by interesting speakers while enjoying a delicious breakfast in beautiful surroundings, you owe it to yourself to head down to Oxford Exchange on Fridays at 8:00 a.m. to attend Café con Tampa.

Saturday

My impression of Tommy Wiseau’s “Ha ha ha, what a story!”

On Saturday, I dressed up like Tommy Wiseau’s character from The Room and watched the film about its making, The Disaster Artist. It was hilarious, had a lot of heart, and was a far better film than I’d expected.

Afterward, we headed to our friends Monique and Gian’s place to celebrate their birthdays. Happy birthday, you two!

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Christmas tree ornament of the day

“Yippee-ki-yay, Merry Christmas!”

And remember: Die Hard is a Christmas movie. In fact, it’s the perfect Christmas movie.

Thanks to Todd Lamothe for the find!