The comical and sometimes criminal antics of Toronto’s world-infamous crack-smoking mayor have set the bar for the title so low that these fictitious candidates’ very simple promises make them sound appealing in comparison. Katie Simpson, a reporter with Toronto 24-hour cable news channel CP24 found and tweeted these photos of the posters: poster 1, poster 2, and poster 3.
“The current mayor threatens to kill people and gets publicly drunk,” reads the poster for “candidate” Ray Faranzi, whose sweaty-faced, messy-haired, tied-one-on visage appears on its left side. “If elected, I promise I will just get publicly drunk.”
“Candidate” Jim Tomkins looks a little more put-together than Ray Faranzi, but he’s still got that “I just killed 5 shots of Jagermeister” look about him. “When I urinate in public,” reads his poster, “I never get caught on camera.”
And finally, we have “candidate” Jeff McElroy, who looks a little less scruffy than programmers of the Richard M. Stallman ilk, but still a little more dishevelled than even the mayor of Portland should appear. “He promises to just smoke pot as mayor,” says his poster, “Not crack.”
Kudos to whoever made these! It’s going to be a long campaign in Toronto (the election takes place in October), but at least it’ll be an entertaining one.
Props to Reg Braithwaite for finding these!