July 2012

The CBC’s “Smell Map” of Toronto

by Joey deVilla on July 31, 2012

Accordion City has plenty of maps that show where you can find its notable sights and sounds, but what about its smells? The CBC has put together a map of the better and worse smelling parts of town, and they’re inviting the public to suggest locations. If someone hasn’t done it yet, I’m going to add the wonderful smell of the Kit Kat factory just north of Dundas between Roncey and Lansdowne.

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Another “Soup of the Day” Sign

by Joey deVilla on July 31, 2012

Please sir, may I have some more?

Be sure to check out this other “Soup of the Day” sign.

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The initial meeting.

The Giraffe Ranch (which I wrote about in my last Funemployment Diary entry) offers a very complete tour. You can start with a short camel ride, learn about how camels and giraffes are related, learn about animals from the savannahs of Africa, see monkeys, lemurs, wild guinea pigs, chickens and all manner of animals that like warm weather — and then you go on a grand tour of their sprawling ranch. The grand tour — which takes at least 90 minutes —  can be taken on camelback or by open-air covered bus. The camelback tour is much pricier and unshaded, so we opted for the short camel ride (once again, covered in the previous Funemployment Diary entry) and took the bus.

Yes, we saw giraffes, and I’ll post those pictures. But this article’s about a camel who found me irresistible.

Unlike the other camels, who spend much of their time in the Giraffe Ranch’s “front yard”, this guy hangs out in the “back area”, where most of the other creatures live. He’s one of the stops on the grand tour, and while the other camels like guests, this one loves them.

There was something in my left pocket that he really liked. I didn’t have any food in there; just kleenex.

This is a bit forward for a first date, isn’t it?

Here we are, posing for a lovely head shot.

Awww, he likes me. You’ve got good taste, camel.

He’s now at that point where he’s all “Let’s kiss, just to break the tension.”

Someone needs to make breath mints for camels.

Geez, dude! Who do you think I am, Catherine the Great?

This photo amused me so much that I decided to risk a little personal shame and try the “Brazzers” trick: making a picture sordid simply by placing a Brazzers logo on it:

Oh, my. That’s soooo wrong.

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I had no idea that a Neuromancer movie was in the works, nor was I aware that Mark Wahlberg was in talks to play that part of the book’s anti-hero, the console cowboy Case and that Liam Neeson was the doing the same to play Armitage, Case’s mysterious employer.

If you’re thinking “Well, it can’t be worse than the film version of Johnny Mnemonic,” let me tell you this: Oh yes, it can be worse. Much worse.

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The 2012 “Gathering of the Juggalos” Infomercial

by Joey deVilla on July 30, 2012

It’s an annual tradition here on The Adventures of Accordion Guy in the 21st Century: the Gathering of the Juggalos infomercial! If you’re a fan of Insane Clown Posse and live the juggalo lifestyle (or just want to immerse yourself in it for a few Faygo-drenched days), you’re already making plans to spend August 8th through 12th at Cave-In-Rock, Illinois. For the past few years, Psychopathic Records (ICP’s label and the people behind the Gathering) have put together a long-form informercial — typically 20-ish minutes in length — that tells you what’ll happen, who’ll appear and that “it’s gonna be awesome, bitch!”

Alas, unlike last year’s infomercial, this one doesn’t have Vanilla Ice. This year’s infomercial’s theme is “zombie apocalypse”.

The most notable change to this year’s schedule is that ICP will perform their headlining set on Saturday, August 11th instead of their traditional Sunday night slot. Shaggy 2 Dope explained that the rescheduling was for the benefit of productive juggalos: “this gives Juggalos and even curious spectators a chance to see us and then pack up and leave Sunday if they have to get back to work on Monday, y’know?”

Book your ticket now — the freshness awaits you!

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Meanwhile, in France…

by Joey deVilla on July 29, 2012

Don’t be shocked. That’s just what they call “continental breakfast” over there.

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