The 24 Types of Libertarian

by Joey deVilla on July 1, 2010

Comic: The 24 Types of Libertarian

{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }

George July 1, 2010 at 9:59 am

I’m waiting for the 24 types of ‘progressive’. (I’d call them ‘liberals’, but they hijacked that word from the libertarians, ironically enough).

Natalie July 1, 2010 at 10:27 am

I thought there was only one kind of Libertarian: Insane.

vera July 1, 2010 at 11:10 am

I love it 🙂

David Janes July 1, 2010 at 11:58 am

Hey, at least that’s 24x the number of types of progressives!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHIZ2Jl2vuQ&feature=player_embedded

ScotterC July 1, 2010 at 11:58 am

Some of these are hilarious, but I think a lot of them are conflating capitalist and libertarian. One can endorse many of Ayn Rand’s beliefs without being a bigot or small government evangelist.

Mark Jaquith July 1, 2010 at 12:59 pm

ScotterC — Ayn Rand would certainly have had an issue with the people depicted in “Naive” (Rand herself called anarchism “naĂŻve), probably “Petulant” (most don’t win because they come off as a bit insane), “Too smart for science” (attack the science with science, not personal attacks), “Denial-ican,” “More libertarian than thou” (she really hated the idiotic idea of privatizing the police — rightly predicted that this would devolve into a vendetta system), “Nepotist,” “The Apostle” (nothing should be described as “magic”), and “Bizarrely Hypocritical” (she favored a right to abortion).

And libertarianism isn’t a philosophy. It’s a range of political beliefs. Picking at individual libertarian (or libertarian-ish) political beliefs is easier for Mr. Deutsch than actually discussing a philosophy on its merits. I find that is a common technique among leftists a.k.a. “progressives” neĂ© “liberals.” Like conservatives, they don’t really have a philosophical underpinning. The pick positions and argue backwards. See “Whitey.” They, like any decent human being, are disgusted by the idea of a racist restaurant owner. So let’s slap a big asterisk next to the right of private ownership. But when conservatives slap an asterisk on women’s ownership of their uteruses, leftists have to slap an asterisk on their own asterisk… and so forth. Do they believe in private ownership or do they believe that the government has the right to dictate usage rights? Yes.

Chris Charabaruk July 1, 2010 at 2:16 pm

Mark: Well said.

ScotterC July 1, 2010 at 2:41 pm

Yes Mark, well said indeed. This is why I can’t tolerate either extreme, left or right. Both have so much wrong with their ideologies and aren’t open to learning.

George July 1, 2010 at 3:19 pm

Looks like the Lewrockwell.com saw the same cartoon too: http://www.lewrockwell.com/blog/lewrw/archives/60682.html (Lewrockwell.com is a bastion of Libertarianism, in all its forms)

Krantzstone July 1, 2010 at 3:32 pm

What about civil libertarians of the Paine/Mill vein?

/raises hand
//somewhere between Historian, Briefly Tempting and Stoned
///and probably Gunner Joe if I lived in the States

Matt July 1, 2010 at 4:46 pm

@Mark:

“libertarianism isn’t a philosophy”

“[L]iberals, [l]ike conservatives, . . . don’t really have a philosophical underpinning.”

Welcome to the club, brother. Liberalism has a _goal_, not a philosophy. The goal is shared prosperity, and the method is pragmatism. It’s libertarians who steep themselves in ideology.

carbondiaz July 1, 2010 at 4:59 pm

Re: Mark’s comment.
Owning a restaurant is not the same as uterine privacy. A woman doesn’t have to ‘own’ her own body.
Conflating the two issues is disingenuous at best, frightening at worst.

Matt July 1, 2010 at 5:00 pm

Mark: See Row 1, Box 4.

Jimbo July 1, 2010 at 5:02 pm

“Do they believe in private ownership or do they believe that the government has the right to dictate usage rights? Yes.

Ummm…liberals believe government has the right to dictate *some* usage rights. Yes.

Because you don’t like their conclusion doesn’t indicate a lack of a philosophical underpinning for it – it indicts that you don’t like it, which I find is pretty much the depth of any libertarian argument about any subject.

scarshapedstar July 1, 2010 at 6:08 pm

“And libertarianism isn’t a philosophy. It’s a range of political beliefs. Picking at individual libertarian (or libertarian-ish) political beliefs is easier for Mr. Deutsch than actually discussing a philosophy on its merits. I find that is a common technique among leftists a.k.a. “progressives” neĂ© “liberals.” Like conservatives, they don’t really have a philosophical underpinning. The pick positions and argue backwards.”

Yawn. There’s nothing more inspirational than semantics and straw men.

I find that a common technique among Scientologists is to seize upon a cheesy novel and to claim that no one who has not read this work of fiction cannot truly understand their philosophy. Wait, did I say Scientologists? Sorry, I meant Libertarians.

RMS July 1, 2010 at 8:58 pm

Mark thinks that requiring public access on a non-discriminatory basis to public accomodations is requiring women to allow public access to their bodies on a non-discriminatory basis. That’s right – a restaurant and a uterus are exactly the same. Holy crap.

BTW, anyone who is a libertarian after college graduation – including Alan Greenspan – really needs to grow up.

R.

R.

Danny Guam July 2, 2010 at 5:48 am

Wait, did I say Scientologists? Sorry, I meant Libertarians.

Ha!

atheist July 2, 2010 at 6:35 am

#5

One can endorse many of Ayn Rand’s beliefs without being a bigot or small government evangelist.

No, you actually can’t. That’s the point. There is no way to make that retarded political philosophy square with reality. You have to create science-fictional scenarios (what if there was no government? what if all the blacks were gone?) to contain such an unreal philosophy.

bnk July 2, 2010 at 7:28 am

Matt – The problem with “shared prosperity” seems to be the lack, of shared effort and responsibility as part of the formula. As everyone tries to work the edges, it is the middle that really works, even though one wag describes a good compromise as an arrangement where neither party is totally happy. And, if anyone thinks that the path that the US and Canada are on is the right one, just wait. It isn’t that taxes are wrong; it is the waste of bureaucracy in action and failure to attach work/training requirements to the receipt of help for all but those who are not truly capable of either.

Xeranar July 2, 2010 at 3:04 pm

I chuckled as the “libertarian” crowd came out of the woodwork to complain. Libertarians really have a few tenets that the vast majority of them hold onto. One is that the free market is better than government authority to dictate because we as people control it. Too bad they fail to recognize that the fortune 1000 control more than a sizable whole of the market and thus can dictate amongst themselves what we get. Try building your own flat-panel television in your cottage and tell me how that works out.

The second is that they principally want liberties for themselves. Some truly are anarchistic but most are just poorly disguised reactionaries and the internet just seems to make it easier to hide that until you poke them with a stick over abortion or personal use rights. They always eventually become Rand Paul’s and question whether they shouldn’t have the right to refuse service to various people they don’t like based on race, creed, ethnicity, sex, or sexual preference.

Then they usually go off against the left because libertarians really are right-of-center no matter what they like to think. Libertarians are just reactionaries with a giant ego saying they can handle their own lives. The 24 panels is great, I plan on having it hang in my office whenever the kids come in for conference or ask me about papers I’ll be sure to let them see it.

Russ Nelson July 3, 2010 at 12:25 am

Xeranar, there is no such thing as a free market. There are only government-regulated markets and customer-regulated markets. Funny enough, but the customer regulated markets end up pleasing customers more, and the government-regulated markets end up pleasing governments more.

Libertarians, like customers, generally prefer customer-regulated markets.

paleotectonics July 3, 2010 at 9:15 am

Russ, there is no such thing as a customer-regulated market. It is a producer-regulated market. And customers, if they could get their brains free of advertising, generaly prefer government-regulated markets.

CUSTOMER-REGULATED MARKET? Are you bloody insane? The customer has no say in what is in the market and generally pays no attention anyhow. Lead in toy paint at Wallyworld? So what, it only cost $1.29!

Doug Alder July 4, 2010 at 9:17 pm

There should have been a 25th square – intelligent libertarians – the square, of course, would be blank

Davi Barker - SF Muslim Examiner July 12, 2010 at 2:29 pm
gbuddha2012 September 28, 2011 at 1:44 pm

Can’t you guys just laugh at yourself a bit ?… these are very funny

gbuddha2012 September 28, 2011 at 2:00 pm

Capitalism is a game of the rich… workers & consumers are mere pawns. We create the wealth, capitalists distribute it among themselves. Time to change the rules of the game

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