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The Adventures of Accordion Guy in the 21st Century
Joey deVilla's Personal Blog
The question was raised on FOX affiliate WNYW’s news program: If you can’t call stuff like soy milk, rice milk, almond milk and so on “milk”, what should you call it? Anchor Greg Kelly didn’t think that “soy juice” sounded right, so his co-anchor Rosanna Scotto came up with a better suggestion:
I don’t like soy milk, so I think that Ms. Scotto’s suggested name is right on the money.
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High-ranking officers in the U.S. military say that PowerPoint makes them dumb. I say that their reliance on technology for technology’s sake makes them dumb. I make use of an episode of The Office to illustrate my point and the Milliennium Challenge war games exercise as evidence. I then wrap up the article with some suggestions on how best to use PowerPoint (or Keynote, or any other slideware).
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“When we understand that slide, we have won the war,” said General Stanley A. McChrystal, the leader of American and NATO forces in Afghanistan, about the slide above.
This slide appears not only in a PowerPoint deck meant to illustrate the complexity of American military strategy, but also in a New York Times article titled We Have Met the Enemy and He is PowerPoint. Here’s an excerpt:
“PowerPoint makes us stupid,” Gen. James N. Mattis of the Marine Corps, the Joint Forces commander, said this month at a military conference in North Carolina. (He spoke without PowerPoint.) Brig. Gen. H. R. McMaster, who banned PowerPoint presentations when he led the successful effort to secure the northern Iraqi city of Tal Afar in 2005, followed up at the same conference by likening PowerPoint to an internal threat.
“It’s dangerous because it can create the illusion of understanding and the illusion of control,” General McMaster said in a telephone interview afterward. “Some problems in the world are not bullet-izable.”
In General McMaster’s view, PowerPoint’s worst offense is not a chart like the spaghetti graphic, which was first uncovered by NBC’s Richard Engel, but rigid lists of bullet points (in, say, a presentation on a conflict’s causes) that take no account of interconnected political, economic and ethnic forces. “If you divorce war from all of that, it becomes a targeting exercise,” General McMaster said.
Commanders say that behind all the PowerPoint jokes are serious concerns that the program stifles discussion, critical thinking and thoughtful decision-making.
That’s right, what’s hurting the military is not the complexity of its mission (which the slide above was meant to illustrate), an amorphous, distributed opponent, the lack of an exit strategy, the faulty intelligence, the bad assumptions (“We’ll be welcomed as liberators!”) or equipment issues (“You fight with the army you have, not the army you want”); it’s PowerPoint.
As a techie who does a lot of presentations, I’m aware of the ways that PowerPoint can be abused, but I think that in this case, I believe that this is a case of a bad workman blaming his tools.

I’m taking a risk by comparing the commanders of the U.S. military to Michael Scott, the clueless boss from the U.S. edition of The Office, but there’s a parallel.
The episode that best epitomizes Michael’s loathing of and failure to understand technology is Dunder Mifflin Infinity, the one where Michael decides that the best way to win back customers that Dunder Mifflin lost to the competition is by by hand-delivering gift baskets to them. This is in contrast to the ideas of his new boss, Ryan (the former temp), who wants to use technology – Blackberries, email, a sales website and yes, PowerPoint – to boost the company’s sales.
After a day of failing to win back former customers with the gift baskets, Michael misinterprets his GPS’ instructions and drives his car straight into a lake. When they return to the office, Michael announces to everyone:
I drove my [bleep] car into a lake. Why, you may ask did I do this? Well, because of a machine (looks at Ryan). A machine told me to drive into a lake. And I did it. I did it because I trusted Ryan’s precious technology.
At the end of the episode, in one of those segments where the characters talks to the documentary crew following them, Michael says:
Everyone always wants new things. Everybody likes new inventions, new technology. People will never be replaced by machines. In the end, life and business are about human connections. And computers are about trying to murder you in a lake. And to me the choice is easy.
General McChrystal’s blaming PowerPoint sounds a lot like Michael’s blaming his GPS.
At this point, you might be thinking “Well, Joey, that’s fine and dandy for you to cite a fictitious example of blind reliance on technology by a fictitious character who is a buffoon, but how about citing something real, related to the military and featuring competent people?”
To which I would reply: “Very well, then.”

The U.S. military got an object lesson about their overreliance on technology for its own sake when they got pantsed in a war games exercise named Millennium Challenge. The exercise took place in the summer of 2002, in that period just after 9/11 when the Bush administration was seriously contemplating an attack on Iraq as the next phase in the War on Terror. To test their military capability and their high-tech approach of “network-centric warfare”, which included vast computer systems for tracking and gathering information on the battlefield, the U.S. armed forces staged the largest war game, using a combination of computer-simulated and real-life forces (including 13,000 real troops and a small set of real warships and planes), at the cost of $250 million.
The exercise featured two teams:
By rights, Blue Team should’ve easily trounced Red Team, but Red Team was under the command of Lieutenant General Paul van Riper, a marine and Vietnam vet with a keen tactical sense and an almost MacGyver-like ability to make the best use of limited resources. He confounded Blue Team by using unorthodox tactics:
At the end of the skirmish, Blue Team was badly hit, with 16 ships either destroyed or disabled and 20,000 dead personnel. Blue Team may have had the technology, but their overreliance on it had cost them the battle, and possibly the war.
In spite of this defeat, Blue Team was declared the winner. Using the excuse that “such tactics would never be used in real life”, the war game was reset, the sunken ships re-floated and the troops resurrected. The exercise was conducted anew, this time with many constraints put on the Red Team that essentially mandated that the Blue Team would win. Van Riper, frustrated with the “scripting”, quit after four days under the new rules of engagement, and later said:
Nothing was learned from this. A culture not willing to think hard and test itself does not augur well for the future.
A phrase I heard over and over was: ‘That would never have happened,’ And I said: nobody would have thought that anyone would fly an airliner into the World Trade Center… but nobody seemed interested.
There’s very little intellectual activity [in Joint Forces Command]. What happens is a number of people are put into a room, given some sort of a slogan and told to write to the slogan. That’s not the way to generate new ideas.
Blue Team had advanced technology, vehicles and weaponry, and those advantages gave them a false sense of understanding of the situation and a false sense of control. Just as they made a mistake-in-the-large wand refuse to see the error of their ways in Millennium Challenge, they are making a mistake-in-the-small and refuse to see the error of their ways with PowerPoint. It’s far easier to blame something else, whether it’s General Van Riper or presentation software.

The U.S. military’s PowerPoint problem is that same problem that a lot of civilian organizations, Microsoft included, have. It’s that they’re misusing PowerPoint in the same way that drunks misuse lampposts: as a crutch, rather than as a source of illumination. Instead of coming up with ideas and then illustrating them with PowerPoint, they’re taking random bits of knowledge, fitting them onto slides and then hoping that ideas will coalesce from them.
PowerPoint comes jam-packed with features that make it easy to fill up empty slides or spend time working on the appearance rather than the content of your presentation. Bulleted lists, which are practically PowerPoint’s default mode, make it too easy to turn your slides into cue cards that you read aloud to your audience. SmartArt makes it incredibly easy to arrange words into flowcharts and diagrams – so easy that people often end up tweaking those flowcharts and diagrams rather than the ideas behind them. Transitions make it easy to provide some razzle-dazzle to cover up the fact that your slides are bereft of content.
The problem caused by these features isn’t unique to PowerPoint. “Style Over Substance” is a trick that’s as old as human communication itself, and there are other tools that lead to the same problem:
PowerPoint make it easy to create slides. The problem with that it that it leads people to focus solely on the slides. As a result, they think that making a presentation is simply about making the slides, and once that’s done, they’re done. Not so.
The act of you presenting ideas to your audience is the presentation; the slides are there to provide the visual component. You should consider the following:
Modern tools offer so many features and shiny buttons that it’s easy to get lost in their features and focus on the tools rather than the work you’re trying to create with the tools. It’s like being an astronomer who’s endlessly fascinated with telescopes; you forget that it’s about what’s in space.
The next time you have to make a presentation, don’t dive straight into PowerPoint. Instead, break out some paper and a pencil and use them to plan your presentation. Pencil and paper are so simple that there’s very little to distract you from the ideas you’re trying to convey. You’ll concentrate more on your presentation and less on the tools.
We’ve all suffered through presentations that are nothing but decks of slides that are simply bullet point lists. Bullet points turn slides into cue cards, and the are few presentation sins worse than reading bullet point slides to an audience. Stop doing that!
Bullet points are far better used for notes or to enhance the readability of an essay than on a slide. Putting bullet points in your speaker notes is fine, but take them off your slides. Rather than make a slide with bullet points, try making a slide for each bullet point instead, and try using a graphic rather than text for each “slide point”.
“You’ve got to put bullet point lists on your slides,” I’ve been told many times, “otherwise the deck won’t make any sense to people reading it later!” I understand the reasoning behind this, but I don’t think that’s the solution.
Unfortunately, the best solution I can think of means more work. My approach is, where possible, to produce two versions of a deck:
This article also appears in Canadian Developer Connection.
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The folks at Posted Toronto, the National Post’s Toronto-centric blog, have come up with a clever idea: The TTCC – the Toronto Transit Civility Commission. Their mission is to remind people who use the TTC (Toronto Transit Commission, Accordion City’s public transit system, comprising the subway, light rail, buses and streetcars) that etiquette isn’t just for fancy dinner parties, but for everyday living, which includes riding public transit.
They’ve created a series of posters that provide riders with gentle reminders that good manners make for a good experience for their fellow transit riders. Better still, these posters are beautifully done, with far more design sensibility than anything the TTC has produced in this transit user’s vast memory.
Here are the posters – you can click on any of them to download a full-resolution, printable version:
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Given the bounty of action films coming out this summer, you might not know which one to watch. Let this flowchart help you decide:

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I don’t think Leonard Nimoy has any idea what that hand gesture [beware, raunchy content] means. The dude on the right scores major bragging points for this photo.
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Got a project and can’t decide on a typeface? This chart is by no means complete, but it might help steer you in the right direction. Click it to see it at full size.
This article also appears in Canadian Developer Connection.
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The 5th annual Toronto Code Camp takes place next Saturday, May 1st, in the SEQ building on Seneca College’s York Campus (Seneca@York). If you’re a developer who builds or is thinking of building on the .NET platform, you want to catch this free event!
Last year’s event had over 350 attendees who caught 25 sessions, including the infamous “Data Bondage with Silverlight”, which opened with the equally infamous “assless chaps and accordion performance”. I make no guarantees this year, other than that I’ll be there and that this year’s event will be the biggest and best one yet, with a whopping 40 sessions arranged into 8 tracks.
Code Camp happens because of Chris Dufour, .NET community guy extraordinare, who’s been making it happen for the past few years. It’s a free-as-in-beer event, a labour of love carried out by Chris and a team of dedicated volunteers and funded by generous sponsors including The Empire.
Here’s a run-down of Toronto Code Camp 2010’s agenda:
I’ll be present at the event, making myself useful as an official Microsoft representative and as a Windows Phone 7 Champ and Azure go-to guy.
Toronto Code Camp takes place in the SEQ building at Seneca’s campus at York University, which is at 70 The Pond Road. Click the map below to see a Bing map and get directions:
See you there!
This article also appears in Canadian Developer Connection.
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Halifax-based Kate Beaton draws funny historical comics at her site, Hark, a Vagrant! In her latest comic, she pokes fun at one of my all-time favourite novels, F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby:
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When I was young, I used to cringe when adults made clumsy, if well-intentioned, attempts to speak in what they thought was “youthful slang” in order to make a connection with us.
Now that I’m one of those adults, I can’t tell for sure whether the message in this poster (which I saw in the Toronto subway yesterday) comes across to today’s net/text-speaking youth as clever or clumsy. I’m torn – should my reaction be LOL or WTF?
(And is it me, or does the expression on the guy’s face say BRB?)
This article also appears in Global Nerdy.
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I know I should be recoiling in horror at this sight, but as a fan of biscuits and gravy, I’m curious to see how close (or far) the convenience store version is from the real, down-home thing. And is there a sweeter phrase than “sausage gravy dispenser”?
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Those of you who’ve been reading this blog for a while know that hedonics – the study of what makes us happy or unhappy – is a pet topic of mine. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that I like the graphic below:
Yes, the “Change something” part of the flowchart covers a ridiculously large amount of ground – the “something” could be “your world”, “yourself”, “how you see things” or a mix of the three — and up to several years of work, personal journeying and possibly therapy, but the procedure outlined in the poster is the basic recipe for “happy”.
Here are links to the people and/or entities that appear in the credits at the bottom of the poster:
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