Kraft Dinner’s Horrific New Flavours

by Joey deVilla on November 11, 2009

kraft dinner extreme pizza 1

Here in Canada, “Kraft Dinner” is the brand under which Kraft Macaroni and Cheese is sold. Macaroni and cheese is one of those tastes of childhood, and being cheap and easy to prepare, “KD” is a staple of university student life. Back in university, a number of us enhanced the dish by adding all sorts of things: ketchup, mustard, hot dog slices, tuna and so on. I liked putting a couple of strips of bacon on mine, because there’s little that bacon can’t enhance.

The people at Kraft must have noticed these enhancements since they’ve release a series of microwaveable Kraft Dinner meals with different flavours such as Alfredo, “Extreme Pizza” and SPicy Szechuan. Being the kinesthetic sort when it comes to food, the Ginger Ninja and I decided to buy a couple of flavours and give them a taste.

The verdict: avoid at all costs. These Kraft Dinner variants aren’t junky-good in the way that original Kraft Dinner is. They just taste awful and have looks that match. Here’s what “Extreme Pizza” looks like:

kraft dinner extreme pizza 2

“Extreme Pizza” is a very bad blend of that Velveeta-esque Kraft Dinner cheese with a low-grade tomato sauce reminiscent of the gunk they put on Chuck E. Cheese pizzas (I know that taste; I have young nephews).

Spicy Szechuan is even worse:

kraft dinner spicy szechuan 1

It tastes like an attempt to blend Kraft Dinner cheese with the flavours of soy sauce, Chinese five-spice and peppers. If the Long March had a taste, it would be this.

kraft dinner spicy szechuan 2

Note that they use different noodles for different flavours; it’s the one bit of culinary artistry that went into them. Different sauces call for different noodles – for example, you don’t serve capellini with a thick meat sauce – and each noodle in this series of Kraft Dinners seems chosen to convey the culinary horror perfectly.

If you must eat these, I would suggest Listerine as a pairing: Listerine Original for the Extreme Pizza, and Listerine Mint for the Spicy Szechuan.

{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

FitDarcie November 11, 2009 at 10:30 am

I find it weird that you needed to buy them in order to discover they were terrible. I wouldn’t have expected anything but disappointment.

Pete Forde November 11, 2009 at 10:44 am

Did you know that Chuck E. Cheese was started by Nolan Bushnell?

Jansen November 11, 2009 at 10:49 am

Ick.

Steve Dean November 11, 2009 at 10:50 am

I actually tried the Alfredo a couple weeks back. Vomit in a cup.

Susan November 11, 2009 at 11:12 am

I was always a Mr Noodles girl myself

Andrew Burke November 11, 2009 at 1:28 pm

Be happy you’re in Canada, Joey, where you can go to Loblaws (or related chain) and get President’s Choice White Cheddar Mac & Cheese for 79 cents.

Slice up some garlic and fry it with the butter you were going to add anyhow (or add ham or bacon), then grate in some old cheddar and/or parmesan, grind some pepper over top and maybe add some chipotle powder and you have something approximating a meal. Maybe not a nutritious meal, but a meal – and certainly tastier than Extreme Pizza Kraft Dinner.

Philip Barron November 11, 2009 at 1:33 pm

If the Long March had a taste, it would be this.

This should be in a pullquote.

Joey deVilla November 11, 2009 at 4:43 pm

FitDarcie: Sometimes, something just beckons you to experience it, even though you know it’s going to be crappy. Some movies are like that. I think I’ve even gone on a date like that once or twice.

Joey deVilla November 11, 2009 at 4:44 pm

Pete Forde: I’ll forgive him for creating Chuck E. Cheese because he created Pong and the Atari of the 1970s and 1980s, before their great fall.

Frank L November 11, 2009 at 4:44 pm

+1 to the Presidents Choice mac and cheese. The trick is to mix in curry powder to the cheese mix for a tasty treat.

Then again I haven’t had that since University.. maybe theres a reason.

Joey deVilla November 11, 2009 at 4:44 pm

Andrew Burke: Aren’t you in Canada too?

Thomas Greene III December 26, 2009 at 10:26 am

I beg to differ. The pizza one is delighful. I am a corporate executive chef, working in Aspen, and I have to say, Kraft has outdone themselves with this masterpiece! Well done Kraft!!

Jim McPherson February 4, 2010 at 6:18 pm

I have lived and enjoyed Kraft Dinner all my life and would quite often make a meal of Kraft dinner but in the last year or so the taste has gone in the toilet. I,m not sure what it is but it just does not taste the same as the “original” original. What have you done ???????

Dave May 14, 2013 at 4:34 pm

I don’t care what anyone says, I liked those. The white cheddar and extreme pizza were the best.

terry March 25, 2015 at 8:06 am

hey I just ate a box of kraft dinner [NEW] spicy cheddar it was epic good . Mexican flavor. just cut up some hard boiled eggs. you got a killer mac salad

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: