September 2007

Iran Maiden!

by Joey deVilla on September 30, 2007

Metal concert at Tehran University
Click the picture to see it at full size.
Photo courtesy of Miss Fipi Lele.

The photo’s caption: Fans at a heavy metal concert in Tehran University. The audience have to headbang sitting down because of rules against dancing.

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Border Patrol guy and President Bush
“Of course, Mr. President, you probably already know all this stuff from your ‘Lindsay Lohan’ days…”

It looks as though the U.S. War or Drugs will continue for a bit longer. U.S. Border Patrol Deputy Chief Ronald Colburn, in answering a question by Senator Olympia Snowe (R-Maine), used hyperbole in the name of job security by equating weed with terrorism:

“There were nearly a million people that weren’t successful in crossing both borders this year. And speaking of weapons of mass effect, 2 million pounds of marijuana is a weapon of mass effect that we prevented from happening this year along the border.”

This is a bit of a stretch if you use the definition of “weapon of mass effect” as it appears in the CSAT Top-Screen User Manual [PDF], a chemical security manual produced by the Department of Homeland Security, which defines it as:

…an industrial gas that can be used as a weapon without reacting with other chemicals to create a third material.

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Brokeback Batman

by Joey deVilla on September 28, 2007

Via the LiveJournal “scans_daily” community, here’s the “slashiest page ever to appear in a children’s storybook that does not star Bert and Ernie”:

Page from a Superman/Batman children’s book

Here’s the text:

Without Superman realizing it, Batman stuck a small Bat-transmitter on Superman’s cape. The device sent out a signal, and the Caped Crusader followed it to Clark Kent’s apartment. Superman was just getting ready for bed when he looked out the window and saw that Batman had sicovered his secret. Now the two of them had to trust each other.

Robin’s not going to like this.

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Don’t Forget: Furries vs. Klingons Tomorrow!

by Joey deVilla on September 28, 2007

Small version of the “Furries vs. Klingons” posterWell, tomorrow’s the big night — the second annual bowling tournament where Atlanta-area Furries take on Atlanta-area Klingons takes place at Midtown Bowl (1936 Piedmont Cir NE, Atlanta, Georgia). A hearty Qa’pla! and Meow! to all who are attending!

Someone set up a poll at Poll Boutique where you can vote for your favourite team. As of this writing, the Furries and Klingons are dead even, each with 50% of the vote.

In honour of this weekend’s event, I would like to share the most appropriate music in my collection for this event: the ever-lovin’
Star Trek Fight Music [1.8MB MP3]. Enjoy!

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Jesus vs. “Mean Girls”

by Joey deVilla on September 27, 2007

“Mean Girls” poster edited to read “Mean Pharisees”

An article in today’s Toronto Star covering a the author of Girl Politics: Friends, Cliques and Really Mean Chicks, from the Zonderkidz branch of Christian publisher Zondervan, gave some advice about mean girls, including this gem:

Q: Using the Bible as a guide to deal with really mean chicks, isn’t that a stretch?

A: Not at all. The Bible is a marvellous tool for dealing with relationships. Jesus was constantly bullied by the Pharisees, who were basically a clique.

I will never look at the Pharisees in the same way again. From now on, I’m going to picture them as hot schoolgirls, saying things like:

  • “Jedediah, all that milk and honey will go straight to your thighs. It’s all carbs!”
  • “I’m having a party tonight and you are soooo not invited, Obadiah.”
  • “Zachariah, why are you being such a beeyotch?”

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I Hereby Declare a Caption Contest

by Joey deVilla on September 26, 2007

The prize is bragging rights, the topic is Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney, and here’s the photo:

Mitt Romney at a fudge shop putting on a latex glove.
Mitt, mit fudge!

Context, as they say on scans_daily, is for the weak.

Make your caption suggestions in the comments. Have fun!

Mandatory Mitt Romney Joke

How is it, that out of all the viable Republican candidates, it’s the Mormon who’s had only one wife?

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Dealing with U.S. Customs

by Joey deVilla on September 26, 2007

Since I married an American and travel to the States fairly often either for business or to see family and in-laws, people often ask me if I have any difficulty with U.S. Customs since I cross the border so often.

The truth is that I usually breeze through customs. Part of it is that my wife is American; the other part is that I know how to act so as not to arouse Homeland Security’s hair-trigger suspicions. Simply put, I know how to fit in.

The woodcutting below, while not a literal depiction, should give you a reasonably accurate idea of Wendy and me going through Customs at the airport:

Woodcutting of a young woman and a bear

“Do you think they’ll let us into prom, bear?”

“Sure they will. Rarr rar rar, lookit me, I live in a subdivision! Rar rarrr rarr rar I’m an Amerrrrrrican.”

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