The Worst Yom Kippur Card Ever [Updated]

I was going to make Yom Kippur cheeseburgers for my Jewish coworkers on the company barbecue, but it looks like they’ve all taken a sick day today. What the hell?

But Seriously, Folks…

Yom Kippur is the Jewish day of atonement and the most solemn day in the Jewish calendar, marked by fasting and . As such, it’s a little inappropriate to say “Happy Yom Kippur!”; it’s kind of like saying “Happy Remembrance Day!”. Better by far to say something along the lines of “Hope your fast passes easily”. Unclear on the Concept

The meaning of Yom Kippur seems to have eluded the e-greeting card site As a greeting card site, they really should know better. This gem is among their Yom Kippur cards:'s animated 'Wishing You a Happy Yom Kippur!' card.

If you think that’s where the cultural gaffe ends, you’d be wrong. That’s because also lets you include music with your “Happy Yom Kippur” greeting card. Here are the choices available:

Music selection for's 'Wishing You a Happy Yom Kippur!' card

Not only can I send my in-laws a nice “Happy Yom Kippur” card, but I can send them happy holiday music too! Now, which one should I send — Du Hast, the big 1998 hit by German industrial rock band Rammstein (most of whose lines translate from German as “You…You hate…You hate me!”), or J.S. Bach’s Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring, quite possibly one of the best classical pieces about Jesus ever written (and ooh, covered by Josh Groban!)? Decisions, decisions…

UPDATE: “Du hast” translates as “You have”; the lyrics page I link to misinterpreted it as “You hate”, which in German is “Du hasst”; note the extra “s”.

(By the bye, can anyone tell me if there is an occasion when Du Hast is a appropriate greeting card music?)

Hey, today’s about atonement. I’ll use Johnny B. Goode!

It Happened to Me

Five Thousand!

5000th post

In the control panel for Blogware, the application in which this blog “lives” (it’s produced by the company for whom I work, Tucows), there’s a little counter that displays how many articles I’ve posted. Today, I noticed that it had it displayed this number: 5001. Critical Massholes was the 5000th article, and I’m glad — it’s nice to hit that milestone with an article of which I’m proud.

To all of you out there, thanks for reading!