Rob MacDougall on Carlson and Coulter on Canada

by Joey deVilla on December 23, 2004

Rob MacDougall is a friend of mine from Crazy Go Nuts University. We worked together for years on Crazy Go Nuts University’s intentionally funny newspaper, Golden Words. He now has a Ph.D. in History from Harvard and is a post-doc research fellow at the American Academy of Arts and Sciences.

(There are some starange parallels here: Rob’s at Harvard, where Wendy

works, and he’s married to an American Jewish girl, as I will be come

September. I met Wendy at a party I gate-crashed at Norton’s Woods in

the American Academy of Arts and Sciences.)

You may have heard of Tucker Carlson, whom Jon Stewart correctly identified as a dick on Crossfire not so long ago. You may have also heard of Ann Coulter, foaming-at-the-mouth neocon pinup attack dog and poster child for bipolar personality disorder.

They recently had a field day with President Bush’s recent visit to

Canada, going on with lines like “better hope the United States doesn’t

roll over one night and crush

them. They are lucky we allow them to exist on the same continent”

[Coulter] and “Without the U.S., Canada is essentially Honduras, but

colder and much

less interesting  The average Canadian is busy dogsledding.” [Carlson]

Apparently, for Coulter and Carlson, high school hasn’t quite ended.

What they’re doing, is the equivalent of the jocks harassing the chess

club with “hey, faggot” or “hey, [insert your favourite racist epithet

here]” taunts. Someone should remind them that those tables often turn

once high school is over and university and the real world beckon.

Donna Wentworth of the EFF by way of Wendy pointed me to this video of the Carlson and Coulter having their “Blame Canada” fest. I’d comment, but Rob has done a much better job already.

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Anonymous December 23, 2004 at 4:36 pm

Thanks for pointing me to Rob’s entry. I wish I could be that eloquent.

(Maybe I should read more? To read makes our speaking English good.)

Anonymous December 23, 2004 at 4:42 pm

Good thing those two asses do not represent the USA. Isn’t there a faery tale about the guy who pisses off all his friends only to find his enemies gang up on him? In any event, like the USA would want 30 million pissed off pemican chewing shotgun toting canoe jockies who look and sound exactly like them as their troublesome northern hinterland.

Alan

Gen X at 40

Anonymous December 23, 2004 at 6:09 pm

As another blogger pointed out elsewhere …. Coulter’s assertion is factually incorrect. Canada is larger, more populous, and more technologically advanced than Iraq. Unlike Iraq, it has a robust national government, which presumably would continue operating even if it was forced underground. And Canada and the U.S. have a border several thousand miles long, currently unguarded.

Point is: If Americans think Iraq was hard to occupy, imagine how hard it would be to occupy Canada. Sure, we could probably roll the Army into Ottawa in a couple of days, but I can’t imagine we’d be able to hang on to the country. And then the fun would really start, as the Department of Homeland Security tries to keep out terrorists who look just like Americans, dress just like us, grew up in virtually the same culture, practice the same religion, and probably could be easily trained to pronounce “about” to rhyme with “trout.”

Next question: The Enterprise vs. the Death Star. Who wins?

Hey, how do I set up an account in this crazy thing?

Anonymous December 23, 2004 at 8:35 pm

Thanks for the link, Joey. See, now you’re a perfect example of the witty TV-savvy Canadians I was thinking of. Why didn’t they have you on to debate Carlson & Coulter, accordion & all?

I didn’t know that about the AAAS’ small role in your meeting Wendy. Very cool. I really do have to make a point of tracking you down some time you’re in Boston.

Anonymous December 26, 2004 at 10:53 am

Well, Coulter scares a lot of folks in the US. If you take her ravings, and Mr Savage’s ravings, and substitute “jew” for “liberal” you would have something frighteningly like what Mr Goebbels, or Mr Hitler would have foamed-at-the-mouth about, some 70 years ago.

Dave Neiwart at http://dneiwert.blogspot.com has been following militia movements and right wing kook squads for quite some time.

I haven’t decided if Operation Arbeit Macht Frei will take place in Gitmo, or Fallujah, or some undisclosed spot in the midwest.

Anonymous December 28, 2004 at 9:24 am

Please. If that [epithet epithet epithet] Coulter WAS bipolar, she’d shut the f up every once in a while.

Just compare her behavior to the sociopathic checklist.

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