The obligatory poop posting

by Joey deVilla on June 30, 2003

You want to ignore this post, but I know you. You can’t.

Bowel Buddy Brand Biscuits

You really have to come over to Canada now, because we lead the way in cool. Consider these:

And now, we have this…

Text: Bowel Buddy package.

I would normally say “I shit you not”, but since two Bowel Buddy wafers have almost 23 grams of fibre, the more appropriate phrase would be “I shit you lots.” According to the literature, some people lose up to five pounds thanks to Bowel Buddy’s erm…ah…cleansing action.

I’ve tried them at the nearby health food store (the one on Queen Street, staffed entirely by cute women). They’re tasty.

So are the wafers (arf! arf!).

Let’s make San Francisco pretty this Christmas!

Now that we’re done with the Canadian poop-altering product, let’s look at the American one:

Photo: Hershey's green chocolate syrup.

Hershey’s green chocolate syrup is part of a tie-in with the Incredible Hulk movie. According to Shelli, this stuff turns your poop (or at least, her toddler’s poop) green.

Now let’s consider the case of San Francisco. There’s a considerable amount of human poop — and yes, you can tell it’s human as opposed to canine without any study — on the streets.

I see a way to make sure the homeless are getting some of their nutrients and making the streets more Christmas-y at the same time, don’t you?

Non-recommended drinking

Photo: A case of Romulan Ale.

This is Romulan Ale, which you can buy at Star Trek: The Experience at the Las Vegas Hilton. All my bodily waste was blue for a day.

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