Please Note: You might want to read this before continuing, otherwise you might not get the joke.
Every other damned blog in the world to AccordionGuy: Mission Accomplished, Convert Thrilled
October 19, 2002
Yes, it’s true. I like The Adventures® of AccordionGuy® in the 21st Century® enough to change my whole blog-reading world around. Here’s the bottom line: The Adventures® of AccordionGuy® in the 21st Century® and its associated blog, The Happiest® Geek® on Earth® gives me the widest range of stories, from the serious to the silly, more choices and flexibility, and better compatibility with the technology world as well as people with lives.
AccordionGuy® relieved my fears about switching. I can still use the same browser and continue to read in the same convenient English® language in which those other, lesser blogs are written in. All my hardware — including my eyes, contact lenses, and the lower lip that I bite with sexual excitement whenever I read a well-crafted piece by an attractive single man — works perfectly when I read The Adventures® of AccordionGuy® in the 21st Century®.
To my surprise, the process of switching was as easy as Joey had promised. I was up and running in less than one day, Girl Scout’s honor (I got a merit badge in “advanced spanking”). First, let me tell you more about why I converted.
More Stories, for Less Surfing
I am a freelance writer; that means I have a lot of spare time. There’s a much greater choice of stories and features, for less surfing, on the AccordionGuy® platform. My laptop came with 512 MB of RAM, and after reading AccordionGuy®, so did I!
Ahem.
Anyways, AccordionGuy® covers current events, technology, humour, music, and life-in-general all in his two weblogs — to get that kind of range in other blogs, you’d have to read a pile of them, plus the assorted rantings of some messed-up LiveJournal kids writing their “nobody loves me” poetry after they’ve huffed a few too many household solvents. My recommendation is to go straight to AccordionGuy® Professional with features both The Adventures® of AccordionGuy® in the 21st Century® and The Happiest® Geek® on Earth®; the extra features for people with time to kill are worth it. See Which Edition is Right for You? for more information.
More Blogware Flexibility
Doc Searls (previously called Medical Student Searls) pales in comparison to AccordionGuy®. There’s no equivalent to the Stagette story, and while Doc says that no one can keep more balls on the ground than he does, Joey can keep at least two balls in the air. When he’s juggling, maybe even more.
The Happiest® Geek® on Earth® does more for me than Hack the Planet ever did, and I am a surfing addict. He updates more; the comments feature makes it easier for me to have a dialogue with him, and “Joey” appears before “Wesley” in my “Favorites” list.
And Now for the How
Now that I’ve given you the reasons why I converted, here’s the skinny on the how.
Which Edition is Right for You?Just get The Adventures® of AccordionGuy® in the 21st Century® and The Happiest® Geek® on Earth®, jackass. |
Step 1: Delete those old bookmarks for the other, lesser blogs.
In Internet Explorer, open the Favorites menu and right-click on any blog that isn’t either The Adventures® of AccordionGuy® in the 21st Century® and The Happiest® Geek® on Earth®. A pop-up menu will appear; select Delete. You should see a dialog box that looks something like this:
Click Yes. Now repeat this for every other blog that is neither The Adventures® of AccordionGuy® in the 21st Century® and The Happiest® Geek® on Earth®.
In Mozilla, open the Bookmarks menu and select Manage Bookmarks…. Highlight any blog that isn’t The Adventures® of AccordionGuy® in the 21st Century® and The Happiest® Geek® on Earth® and hit the delete key.
Step 2: Add The Adventures® of AccordionGuy® in the 21st Century® and The Happiest® Geek® on Earth® to your bookmarks.
Visit The Adventures® of AccordionGuy® in the 21st Century®, In Internet Explorer, select Add to Favorites… from the Favorites menu. In Mozilla, select Bookmark This Page… from the Bookmarks menu. Do the same for The Happiest® Geek® on Earth®.
Step 3: Say nice things about The Adventures® of AccordionGuy® in the 21st Century® and The Happiest® Geek® on Earth® to your bookmarks.
Talk about how astute he is. Say that he’s a handsome, dashing dude with his head screwed on straight. Say that he is an integral part of your shower-nozzle fantasies. Say his name, baby, say it!
Step 4: Say slanderous things about the other bloggers
Spread evil rumors about them. Make jokes about Jason Kottke’s hair — something like “I hear the stockboy at the grocery nearly stamped his head when he stood too close to the Kiwi fruit!”. Say that you saw Moxie trying to sneak nine items in the “eight items or less” lane — and suspiciously-shaped vegetables, too, if you get my drift (nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more). Maybe something like “That Aaron Swartz kid has joined a violence gang!”, “That Anil Dash — did you know that he sniffs other people’s bicycle seats?”, or “I hear that Lileks, Tony Pierce and Richard Gere go to the same gerbil wholesaler.” And these are the suggestions that wouldn’t bring legal action — let your imagination go wild!
Do you have an idea for a story? We’d love to hear from you. How have you used The Adventures® of AccordionGuy® in the 21st Century® and The Happiest® Geek® on Earth® to make your home, work or sex life easier, more fun, faster, simpler or less biologically messy? Submit your ideas, and you could get published on this Web site!