May 2002

by Joey deVilla on May 31, 2002

Soccer: a bridge to other cultures

Stavros the Wonder Chicken, a Canadian expat living in Korea, has been doing the occasional bit of what’s been happening with the World Cup off the soccer field in his blog, EmptyBottle.org. In his latest posting, he has this photo of a soccer player doing one of those second-grade-kid-in-a-redneck-town imitations of his hostesses’ eyes:

His hostesses should’ve countered with Brazilian stereotypes: they could’ve had a cab driver hold him for ransom, or maybe they could’ve subjected him to a rabid monkey attack.

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by Joey deVilla on May 30, 2002

Gun-toting Catholic girls? Count me in!

Apparently, women and girls from Mafia families are helping out more and more with the Family Business. We’re talking well-dressed black-skirted women with a taste for blood. Being Italian, I’m sure they dig guys with accordions (especially since I play a mean Speak Softly Love, a.k.a. The Theme from The Godfather).

Or, given that neither of us can resist a good Mafia movie, this could be the germ for that sitcom George and I have been threatening to write. Whaddaya think, George — Gilmore Girls meets The Sopranos? Bianca the Slackjawed-fucking-rat Slayer? Work with me, paysan.

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One Nation, Overseas

by Joey deVilla on May 30, 2002

They “Look Asian, think Spanish, act American“. They’re called “flexible, industrious, and frequently skilled”. They’re long distance commuters, travelling thousands of miles away from home and sent back a total of US$6 billion last year. They’re OFWs (Overseas Filipino Workers — also called OCWs, Overseas Contract Workers, back home). As this Wired article, One Nation, Overseas puts it:

…the Philippines has discovered the future of work. At any given time, about 10 percent of the country’s 76.5 million population is hard at work – outside the country. During 2001, more than 800,000 people headed out on a commute that makes Rye-Grand Central seem like a milk run to the corner store. They went to Italy, Saudi Arabia, Canada, Singapore, and Uzbekistan. They went to Mongolia and Equatorial Guinea. Unlike Mexicans, who flock primarily to the United States, Filipinos traveled to 162 nations in all. Unlike Indians, who fill mostly tech and medical positions, Filipinos toil as domestic helpers, engineers, nurses, bricklayers, teachers, farmers, seafarers, stenographers, hairdressers, crane operators, cooks, and entertainers.

Using stronger foreign economies to help sustain their familes and technologies such as SMS and instant messaging to stay in touch with loved ones, OFWs make for a significant portion of the Philippines’ GDP. The price they often pay is terrible — between mistreatment by employers (especially in Singapore and the Gulf States) as well as long-term separation from family (especially rough on Filipinos, whom Neal Stephenson observed in Cryptonomicon as “incredibly family-oriented. They make Jews look like a bunch of alienated loners.”)

Check it out.

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Compatibility test result #1

by Joey deVilla on May 30, 2002

The first person to report his scores from the compatibility test I mentioned in a posting yesterday is my old pal of almost 15 years, George Scriban. His results:

George Tiberius Scriban, Esquire

  • you are 88% similar
  • you are 61% complimentary [sic]

(The word they want is complementary, not complimentary. Dumbasses.)

George writes:

big fucking surprise.

it should also add “you two think you’re funny, but you irritate others around you when together.”

I prefer to think of us as “the thinking man’s Beavis and Butt-Head“.

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by Joey deVilla on May 30, 2002

Your final reminder

Got this e-mail yesterday evening:

From: Global Pop Conspirator Kevin

To: AccordionGuy

I’m wagering you’re bringing the accordian tomorrow and I had an idea, if you’re into it… We cut the music at some point in the night, you break into the opening bars of a song and then we drop the original version of that song. I was thinking Just Can’t Get Enough (everybody and their grandma knows it). If you think that’s tacky (or not tacky enough), I understand. Anyway, let me know. Could be a moment.

There you go, yet another reason to go.

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by Joey deVilla on May 29, 2002

AccordionGuy compatibility test

How compatible with me are you, friendship- and relationship-wise? Take this test and find out. Feel free to e-mail me your results and any commentary; I’ll post ‘em.

There’s an added bonus: by taking this test, the system gets enough enough to create a compatibility test just for you. That’s how I got my test, and according to my results, I’m 48% friendship-compatible and 89% relationship-compatible with a friend-whose-name-I-shan’t-reveal. Don’t tell her boyfriend.

(Special note to Adina: You’re just dying to find out who it is, aren’t you?)

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by Joey deVilla on May 29, 2002

Your Global Pop Conspiracy reminder

Remember, it’s at the Rotors Club, 593a Bloor Street West, west of Bathurst. The fun starts at 9, it’s a 19+ event, and there’s a cover of $5. Expect good music and me.

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by Joey deVilla on May 28, 2002

Ass-o-tron

Sometimes you just want to paste a giant ass on someone’s Web site, and fulfilling that desire is what the Ass-O-Tron is all about.

Check out these examples:

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Peeing in the Karma Pool

by Joey deVilla on May 28, 2002

An actual conversation I had with an older busker friend of mine, near the corner of Queen and Spadina:

Scrawny-looking panhandling kid: Can either of you spare a buck so I can get a hot dog?

My busker friend: Fuck no!

Me: Here. (Hands over a loonie.)

The kid walks off and buys a hot dog from the nearby stand.

My busker friend: I guess I should’ve given him some money. I am, after all, a Tibetan Buddhist.

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by Joey deVilla on May 28, 2002

(In The Happiest Geek on Earth):

Backlog

Here are the past few postings from my other blog:

Lord Acton on Succinctness

Is my hard drive hot or not?

New NSBasic for PalmOS runtime, yo

Working on a Sunday

Deja vu all over again

Sibilant languages

“Begun, this flame war has.”

Succinctness is Power

I must be buttah, ’cause I’m on a roll!

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by Joey deVilla on May 27, 2002

Notes from Accordion City

For those of you who live in Toronto, want to know more about Toronto or are just killing time at work, some Toronto links you might have missed.

Transit Toronto

The TTC — Toronto Transit Commission, the city’s public transport system of subways, light rails trains, streetcars and buses — may seem utilitarian in comparison to Montreal’s world-renowned Metro with its designer stations and rubber-wheeled trains and dull beside New York’s subway, but it’s a pretty nice compromise between the two. Living in San Francisco for a few months and enduring their sad excuse for a transit system made me appreciate the TTC in ways I hadn’t before.

My new appreciation still has nothing on the TTC’s legion of fans, who love the “Red Rocket” (the local nickname for the TTC) so much that they’ve created a weblog. In it, you’ll find news, photo galleries and even skill-testing questions like this one:

It is the summer of 1966, and you are standing at the corner of Danforth Avenue and Victoria Park. You have to get to Bloor and Islington later that day. The problem is, you have only one TTC ticket, and no money in your pocket. How do you get from Victoria Park and Danforth to Islington and Bloor in this situation? Can you think of the quickest legal route between these two points, using as few transfers as possible?

The blog entry with the answer begins with this line, which serves to underscore the obsessiveness of TTC otaku:

Most of you who replied correctly identified the TTC’s two zone fare system as the crux of this person’s problem.

Most of you who replied correctly? I’m amazed that even one person answered, never mind more than one, never mind correctly. The only thing more surprising than the existence of this site is the existence of a web ring devoted to public transit in the Greater Toronto area.

Once again, here’s the link to Transit Toronto.

Impostor shops

In the Eddie Murphy movie Coming to America, the female lead’s father runs “McDowell’s”, a burger joint that is named and looks suspiciously like a large, popular fast-food franchise. Sad as this seems, it’s even sadder when people copy the “look and feel” of Canada’s second-tier, second-rate franchises. I doubt that they’re fooling anyone by aping the graphic design of Coffee Time, home of crappy Bunn-O-Matic swill and stale sandwiches, or Mr. Submarine, an operation so below notice that it doesn’t even have a Web site. The Daily Nonsense has a special section devoted to these “Pseudo Shops”.

Global Pop Conspiracy

The Global Pop Conspiracy’s mission is to abolish genre segregation and bring all kinds of music to the Toronto masses clamoring for it. Rather than “enforce arbitrary and unnecessary divisions: rock ‘n’ roll versus r ‘n’ b; indie versus major; high versus low; b-girl versus twee boy”, they care about only one arbitrary division: “like versus don’t like”.

My friend Rob Bolton, a fellow DJ back in our days at Queen’s University (where he went under the unfortunate name “DJ Rave” — hey, it was 1991) and his pals are behind the Conspiracy, which is hosting DJ/social nights every week starting this Thursday at the Rotors Club (593a Bloor Street West, west of Bathurst). Doors open at 9 p.m., the cover is a mere $5, and yes, it’s a licensed event. I’ll going…who’s with me?

For those of you who can’t make it to the social, you can still get a taste of the GBC. They’ve got a great online radio station operating in both high-bandwidth and low-bandwidth modes. Give it a listen!

“Begun, the attempts to clone the movie have.”

The big Paramount Festival Hall theatre, a mere couple of blocks from my house, was the scene of an arrest when two teenagers were caught trying to videotape Attack of the Clones with a camcorder. The story is here.

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by Joey deVilla on May 26, 2002

What’s your cyborg name?

The Brunching Shuttlecocks site has got a great acronym generator that would come in handy should you become a cyborg. For instance, JOEY turns out to be an acronym for:

Judge Optimized for Exploration and Yardwork

And DEVILLA expands to:

Digital Electronic Variant Intended for Learning and Logical Assassination

while ACCORDION becomes a cool name for one of those cool probe droids from Star Wars:

Artificial Cybernetic Construct Optimized for Repair/Device Intended for Observation and Nullification

If you’d rather your name be rendered into a high-tech protocol or computer part rather than some kind of killing machine, you might like AIEEE (short for Acronym Interaction, Expansion and Extrapolation Engine), their other acronym generator.

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Wasn’t Last Week’s Hassle in Customs Enough?

by Joey deVilla on May 25, 2002

The right girl doesn’t return my calls, the wrong one e-mailed me earlier this week.

Mr. Murphy. We meet again.

Prick.

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by Joey deVilla on May 24, 2002

(In The Happiest Geek on Earth):

Language Wars

Read it here.

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Memo to Self…

by Joey deVilla on May 24, 2002

Always check for wedding bands before pouring on the schmoove moves.

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