Rejected wedding theme #4: Buffalo Brawl!

by Joey deVilla on September 18, 2014

wedding brawl

Not a scene from the Buffalo Wedding Brawl, but from this funny Windows Phone ad.

Continuing my series of themes that I will not be using at my upcoming wedding, here’s one: Buffalo Brawl!

“I’m telling you, there was blood everywhere,” said one of the staff at a wedding reception in Buffalo that ended in a 100-person brawl. “There was holes punched in the walls. Words couldn’t describe it. Just when you thought it was over, another fight started.

(“There was holes punched in the walls.” Never mind the guests — even subjects and verbs were in disagreement at this wedding!)

Police got a call last Saturday night at 11 p.m. about a fight breaking out at a wedding reception at Orchard Park Country Club. An officer who was among the first to respond says that more than 100 people were fighting both inside and outside the club when they arrived. The bride and groom were apparently not involved in the brawl — she had been hustled out the back, while he tried to get the guests to leave.

There’s still no clear explanation for what started the fight, although there’s a report that earlier that evening, a wedding guest was accused of groping a woman and then punched in the face. That guest was escorted off the premises, and the reception went back to normal until it was time to leave. Apparently there was still some lingering ill will, and that’s when the fights broke out. The fights got larger as people tried to break them up, only to be drawn into the melee. “There were intoxicated individuals who were not helping us at all and had to be sent along with a sober individual,” said a police officer who was at the scene.

Seven police departments showed up in response. This may have been because of the size of the fight, but I’m not going to discount the explanation that upstate New York is a crashing bore on most Saturday nights.

The Wedding-Industrial Complex doesn’t like anything tarnishing its image, and Orchard Park Country Club’s manager was quick to deny that the fight even took place. He showed Buffalo News their main lounge and dining areas, which didn’t look as if they’d been through a bunkhouse brawl. “Look around,” he said. “Does it look like there was any damage?”

It should be noted that the wedding reception was held in a side banquet room that wasn’t shown to Buffalo News. In the meantime, the officer who first arrived at the scene said damage included holes in walls, blood, broken crystal bowls and glasses and damage to property in the main banquet area, hallways and basement. “For them to say nothing happened is 100 percent wrong,” he said.

The best observation about the story comes from Gawker, in response to a witness who said “Things were said that can never be taken back.”: “Hey! It’s like a metaphor for marriage!”

Previously, in the “Rejected Wedding Theme” series…

  1. Catch the camo craze
  2. Faking my own death
  3. Asses of Fire

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T-shirt of the day

by Joey deVilla on September 17, 2014

you can have me chest

This shirt is available right now at Tampa International Airport. Toronto lady friends, who wants me to bring them one when I come up for Thanksgiving?

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diy apple watch

It’s got a nice big screen, front- and back-facing camera, and you’ll always have your sync/charging cable handy.

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jerak math problem

Okay, the written-in answer is correct in the practical sense, but if you can’t figure out the mathematically correct answer — that is, the distance and time by which Jerak missed the elevator, you may have a math problem.

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Sign of the day: “No hipsters”

by Joey deVilla on September 11, 2014

no hipsters

Found via Reg Braithwaite.

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I think that Marvel Studios should add AC Stuart’s suggestion as an alternate ending when they release the DVD/Blu-Ray/whatever edition of Guardians of the Galaxy

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falling man

The Falling Man is the name of the photograph above, taken 13 years ago today. Taken by Associated Press photographer Richard Drew, it shows a man — still unidentified to this day — falling from the World Trade Center’s North Tower on September 11, 2001. Of all the images from 9/11, I believe this one is the most powerful. As theologian Mark Thompson of Moore Theological College says:

“…perhaps the most powerful image of despair at the beginning of the twenty-first century is not found in art, or literature, or even popular music. It is found in a single photograph.”

The photo, for obvious reasons, isn’t shown much. It strikes a nerve that’s still raw. Still, it’s a necessary reminder of what happened and what has yet to be done to ensure it doesn’t happen again. Depending on your point of view, you and I may or may not agree on what should be done in response, but I’m pretty sure we can agree that this day should be remembered.

north tower windows

The Falling Man is also the name of an essay by Tom Junod published in Esquire in 2003. It’s about the Falling Man photo, which Junod describes as “the Unknown Solider in a war whose end we have not yet seen”. It’s still worthwhile reading eleven years later. Steven Church summed it up nicely when he wrote this about the piece:

My favorite sorts of essays are often those that advertise themselves as one thing while performing several different, often contradictory functions, essays where the stakes shift between the first paragraph and the last. “The Falling Man,” does this. It was a feature piece in Esquire, and I think at least part of why I like it is because it seems like the sort of piece that the Esquire editors would have normally sanitized and polished into something much smoother and less interesting, something less intimate and confrontational, less risky, digressive, and essayistic.

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Junod’s The Falling Man has a new introduction, The Fallen Man, which talks about a more recent photo: that of American journalist James Foley being murdered by the Islamic State (also known as ISIS or ISIL). Like the Falling Man photo, the New York Post’s publication of a still from the video in which Foley was decapitated was controversial. There are many more connections between the two photos, including this quote from Richard Drew:

“I don’t need to see the video the same way I didn’t need to see the Falling Man hit the ground to know the outcome.”

james foley

James Foley. Photo from Wikipedia.

Esquire published The Falling Man with the new introduction, The Fallen Man, with a purpose: to promote a memorial scholarship at Marquette University’s J. William and Mary Diederich College of Communications in Foley’s name. You can still read the essay and its new introduction for free, but should you feel the urge, there’s a link you can click to make a donation to the scholarship fund, which I did.

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