Thanks to Alistair Morton for the find!

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If you’re going to do the “Florida Man” thing in a town that’s Italian in name only — Naples, Florida — you might as well do it in a restaurant that’s also Italian in name only: The Olive Garden. And remember: Any fool can eat a sausage or an oyster suggestively; it takes the creative genius of Florida Man to eat spaghetti belligerently.

Here the story from a local news channel, and here’s the Miami Herald’s coverage.

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Cognitive dissonance

by Joey deVilla on April 11, 2019

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I didn’t want National Siblings Day to pass without posting this video of a TEDx talk by my sister, Dr. Eileen deVilla, who oversees Toronto Public Health, which is Canada’s largest public health agency and provides public health services to nearly 3 million people. It’s a big job, but Eileen’s more than up to the task.

In honor of National Siblings Day, and for those of you who haven’t met Eileen, check out her talk, in which she discusses the defining health crisis of our time: substance abuse and our archaic attitudes about it.

Happy Siblings Day, Sis!

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The Nap of Khan

by Joey deVilla on April 4, 2019

We’ve all had mornings like this.

Thanks to Star Trek Shitposting for the find!

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Off-the-cuff made-up statement 1: Noise from wind turbines causes cancer (it doesn’t)

Orange Julius Caesar” has never been a fan of renewable energy, but especially wind power. He’s often said that turbines kills birds (yes, but less often than other ways of generating power). He’s also said that it can’t work because sometimes the wind stops blowing, probably because the very stable genius has never heard of batteries or using more than one way to generating power.

But his latest pronouncement sounds like one of his off-the-cuff, provably false statements: “They say the noise [from wind turbines] causes cancer,” which he followed up with what he imagines are wind turbine sounds. Sadly yet predictably, there’ll be a segment of the “low information voter” population who’ll believe him.

New York Magazine astutely points out these facts about power generation and cancer:

Wind turbines do not cause cancer. Some people blame the noise for causing a variety of other health ailments, but these charges have zero scientific validity. Cancer is not caused by noises of any kind.

A power source that does cause many health problems, including cancer, is coal, an extremely dirty fuel Trump loves and has attempted to bolster, with almost no success. Aside from costing more to produce energy than other sources of power, and in addition to enormous air pollution side effects, coal also emits greenhouse gases in large amounts. Though this of course is another aspect of science Trump rejects.

Trump also said that his claim about wind turbines (which he insists on calling windmills, which are different) would get leaked to media, despite the fact that reports were very clearly present at the event.

Off-the-cuff made-up statement 2: His father was born in Germany (he wasn’t)

In an attempt to soften his approach and sell the claim that Germany wasn’t paying “its fair share” into NATO, Trump claimed that he had great respect for Germany, and that his father was “born in a very wonderful place in Germany” — although he never specified which wonderful place it was.

The reason he didn’t name where his father was born is that it wasn’t in Germany. There’s even a birth certificate to prove it:

Click the birth certificate to see it at full size.

The Guardian points out that this isn’t the first time that he’s made false claims about his father being born outside the U.S.. They also point out the irony of  this statement in light of his disproven conspiracy theory that Barack Obama was not born in the U.S. (a requirement for being President).

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Tampa Bay sale items of the week

by Joey deVilla on April 2, 2019

MMA gym closing sale (negotiable prices)

There’s an MMA gym in Clearwater that’s closing, and they’re selling all sorts of stuff! The best items are two “BOB” punching dummies (one of them’s pictured above). Here’s how you use BOB:

Here are the full details of the sale, straight from their posting on Facebook Marketplace:

Dollamur mats, zebra mats, Muay Thai bags, head gear new and used, 20 different size heavy bags of various sizes. Rubber mats for gym floor. MMA shorts of various sizes all new. Multiple bag gloves as well as boxing gloves(used and new). Extra large and regular wave master, Bob the Dummies X2 in good shape, 1 set of medicine balls from 4 to 25 lbs. Dumbell and medicine ball racks also available. 20x 20 4 rope professional boxing ring is also for sale. We have many other items! Contact us either here on marketplace or ay gradysmma@yahoo for more pictures or information.

Once again, find out more here. There aren’t any prices mentioned, so be ready to negotiate!

Hammond Super CX-2000 organ ($3,000)

This is a late ’80s/early ’90s Hammond organ, and there’s isn’t much information online about this particular model. Luckily, there are a number of videos featuring this organ in action. Here’s a performance that’ll take you to the baseball or hockey game:

This one should remind you of the shopping mall in the late ’70s/early ’80s:

And here’s the Super CX-2000 in jazz mode:

If you’ve got “three large” burning a hole in your pocket and can pick it up from Oldsmar, contact the seller on Facebook.

Peach Crown Royal bag. Just the bag. I have no idea why. ($10)

I had no idea they made peach-flavored Crown Royal. I have no idea why someone would think that they could sell the bag it comes in for $10. I also have no idea who would part with $10 for one, and I know a lot of Dungeons and Dragons players.

Contact the seller on Faceboook; they’re in Lutz.

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